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AITA for not wanting my husband to go to his daughter’s fencing competition? UPDATED 2X

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A 29-year-old woman, currently 39 weeks pregnant, finds herself in a difficult situation with her husband, who is 32 and has a 12-year-old daughter from a previous relationship. The daughter is participating in a competitive fencing event on Thursday, and the husband plans to fly out on Wednesday to spend a few days with her before the competition and to attend it.

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Normally supportive of her husband’s involvement in his daughter’s life, the woman is feeling particularly vulnerable and anxious because she could go into labor at any moment. She has no family nearby for support and is classified as a high-risk pregnancy due to diabetes, making the situation even more concerning for her. Her husband has offered to have her best friend stay with her in his absence, but she feels that this is not enough to alleviate her fears.

Despite her pleas and the suggestion to send a gift to his daughter instead, her husband insists on going to the competition. He believes it’s crucial to maintain a strong relationship with his daughter, especially given his separation from her mother and the impending birth of a new child with his current wife. He argues that she will be too upset if he misses the event and has made it clear that he intends to go regardless of her concerns, implying that she is being unreasonable.

The woman feels torn between understanding the importance of her husband’s relationship with his daughter and her own need for his support during this critical time in her pregnancy. She posted her dilemma online, asking if she is being selfish or unreasonable for wanting her husband to stay with her.

Key Points:

  1. Pregnancy Status and Risk Factors: The woman is 39 weeks pregnant, classified as high risk due to diabetes, and has been experiencing a difficult pregnancy. She could go into labor at any moment.
  2. Husband’s Plans: He plans to fly out on Wednesday and return on Friday evening, in time for her scheduled induction on Saturday.
  3. Support Concerns: She has no family nearby and feels uncomfortable relying solely on her best friend for support during this critical time.
  4. Relationship Dynamics: The husband believes attending the fencing competition is essential for maintaining a strong bond with his daughter, given the complexities of co-parenting and the upcoming birth of his second child.
  5. Emotional Conflict: The woman feels guilty for asking her husband to stay, fearing she might be jeopardizing his relationship with his daughter, but also feels her need for his presence during the final stages of her pregnancy is justified.

This situation highlights the emotional and logistical challenges of balancing family dynamics, especially when blending families and managing high-risk pregnancies.

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Let’s start the story.

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Not long after posting, OP shared two small updates.

The internet had a lot to say.

Limp2myLoom wrote:

OP responded:

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Maggieslens wrote:

OP responded:

[deleted] wrote:

OP responded:

RascalBird wrote:

Lonerfluff wrote:

OP responded:

A week later, OP shared an update.

The internet had strong feelings about the situation.

hanst3r wrote:

CallMeASinner wrote:

AnimeGirl2233 wrote:

MadPenguin1 wrote:

Five weeks later, OP shared another update.

Commenters had a lot to say in response.

Putrid_Awareness5339 wrote:

kay_dee_ss wrote:

Background-Target185 wrote:

Pure-Meat9498 wrote:

Solags wrote: