"AITA for telling family I didn’t find their visiting and holding my new baby 'helpful'?"

In the aftermath of giving birth via a difficult C-section, a new mother found herself inundated with offers of “help” from family members eager to spend time with her newborn baby. Despite her physical limitations post-surgery, she found that most of the so-called “helpers” were primarily interested in holding the baby rather than assisting with essential tasks. Unable to engage in household chores due to her recovery needs, she felt frustrated by their presence, which often hindered rather than aided her.

The new mother made it clear to her family that holding the baby wasn’t as helpful as they believed it to be, as it didn’t address her immediate needs. Instead, she hired help for household chores, dog care, and other necessities. Though her sister-in-law was an exception, offering practical assistance, the majority of her partner’s family seemed more focused on spending time with the baby than providing genuine support to the new mother.

Despite her attempts to communicate her needs, the family members continued to express disappointment and resentment over not being allowed to visit more frequently in the early days. While the new mother acknowledged that she could have fabricated excuses to limit their visits without directly confronting them, she felt compelled to assert her boundaries and preferences. Now that her baby is a few months old and she has regained her strength, she allows visits more freely, emphasizing that their presence is now genuinely helpful as she can manage household tasks more easily.

Reflecting on her experience, the new mother acknowledges that her approach may have seemed confrontational to some, but she prioritized her well-being and recovery during those crucial early weeks. She remains firm in her belief that genuine support extends beyond mere babysitting and holds no regrets for setting boundaries to protect her recovery and bonding time with her newborn.

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