Is my daughter just using me?

A complex situation has emerged involving a father, his daughter, and extended family members regarding financial support and future plans. The father has been supporting his daughter through college, covering her tuition, apartment, and various expenses. Despite these efforts, he discovered that his daughter, along with her mother and grandmother, had secretly amassed a significant amount of savings intended for her post-college move out of state. This revelation came as a shock and led to feelings of betrayal, particularly because the daughter had repeatedly claimed financial hardship and had been requesting additional support.

The father’s attempts to address these concerns directly with his daughter were met with resistance; she responded by leaving the conversation and expressing her willingness to manage without further financial help. This reaction has intensified the father’s frustration, especially given his commitment to providing financial support while also expecting her to contribute to smaller expenses like insurance and groceries to foster financial independence.

Compounding the issue, the father’s mother has shown support for the daughter’s financial decisions, arguing that the father’s family has sufficient resources to cover all expenses. This disagreement has strained the relationship between the father and his mother, highlighting a broader issue of conflicting expectations and communication breakdown within the family.

Key Points of Discussion:

Financial Responsibilities: The father has been actively supporting his daughter’s education and living expenses, yet feels deceived by her undisclosed savings.
Family Dynamics: The situation has caused tension between the father and his daughter, as well as with his mother, who supports the daughter’s financial autonomy.
Communication Challenges: Direct conversations with the daughter about her financial situation and future plans have not resolved the issues, leading to further misunderstandings and strained relationships.

This overview underscores the importance of transparent communication and clear expectations in managing family finances and relationships, especially when dealing with significant financial support and future planning.