My (34M) good friend (27M) is on the autism spectrum. He is verbal and can read social cues decently well, but he has a few “tells” such as constant rocking when sitting still, some verbal stims, and aversion to certain sensory experiences. He only recently got diagnosed and doesn’t share this information widely. His stories of past struggles made me feel protective of him.
Recently, his apartment’s AC broke down, and he needed a place to stay for a few days. He can’t sleep unless it’s on silk sheets, so I bought some to ensure his comfort. My wife was already a bit annoyed, pointing out that I hadn’t done this for other guests.
The second day he stayed with us, he told me that a smell in the house was bothering him and giving him a headache. After some investigation, we figured out it was my wife’s perfume. I politely asked my wife to change or shower so my friend could join us for dinner comfortably. She refused and tried to kick my friend out for being high maintenance, which I quickly stopped.
I understand that my wife isn’t aware of my friend’s needs, but he is a guest in our home. His diagnosis is his to share, not mine. The AC in his building should be fixed by tomorrow, according to an email he received. However, my wife booked a hotel and insists that either she or my friend go stay there for the night. My friend is clearly distraught, and I can’t send him off on his own in this state.
AITA?
ETA: I bought the sheets instead of asking him to bring his from home because I wanted them for future use. This would allow any future guests to decide between the “normal” sheets and the silk ones. We never know who around us has sensory issues, or who might just want some nice sheets to sleep on for the night while they are guests in our home. I don’t need to know the medical or diagnostic information of my guests in order to accommodate their needs.
EDIT 2: I get the picture and accept my judgment, guys. Can we please stop the ‘bad autistic person’ stories going on in the top comment thread, though?
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