"AITA for describing my mom's second marriage and her younger kids as her do over family?"

In this situation, the protagonist, a 17-year-old girl, expressed her feelings about her mother’s second marriage and her younger siblings, whom she described as her mother’s “do over family.” She recounted feeling neglected by her mother after her father passed away when she was five, noting that her mother was largely absent and relied on extended family members, primarily her grandparents, for support and care. This early experience left her feeling like she had to raise herself and develop independence at a young age.

When her mother remarried and had children with her new husband, the protagonist observed a stark contrast in her mother’s behavior. She saw her mother being attentive, loving, and involved with her younger siblings in ways she never experienced herself. This contrast highlighted for her the disparity in her mother’s parenting approach between her and her younger siblings.

The protagonist’s decision to decline babysitting for her mother’s younger children stemmed from her feelings of detachment and resentment towards what she perceived as her mother’s favoritism towards her “do over family.” When her mother questioned her refusal and expressed disappointment, the protagonist candidly expressed her feelings, describing the younger children and her stepfather as part of her mother’s attempt at a “perfect little family” that she never felt a part of.

The conversation escalated into a confrontation where the protagonist accused her mother of only showing interest in her when she needed something, highlighting the long-standing emotional distance between them. Her mother reacted defensively, accusing her of being jealous and having a bad attitude, culminating in hurtful exchanges and name-calling.

From a third-person perspective, while the protagonist’s feelings are understandable given her upbringing and experiences, her delivery and choice of words could be seen as harsh and hurtful to her mother and younger siblings. Labeling them as part of a “do over family” may have been perceived as dismissive and insensitive, especially considering their innocence in the dynamics of their family structure.

Ultimately, the situation reflects deep-seated emotional wounds and unresolved issues between the protagonist and her mother. Both parties are likely grappling with complex feelings of hurt, resentment, and misunderstanding. While the protagonist’s actions may not have been intended to cause harm, they inadvertently sparked a heated confrontation that further strained their already fragile relationship.

In conclusion, while the protagonist’s feelings are valid, the manner in which she expressed them and the resulting conflict suggest a need for open communication and possibly outside support to navigate and heal these family dynamics.

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