He Called My Pregnancy “Disgusting,” So I Didn’t Tell Him I Was in Labor
Getting pregnant should bring you closer together, right? For me, it did the opposite. My husband and I were fine until I got pregnant — then things shifted. I shared my pregnancy experience with his sister, who genuinely asked how it felt. I talked about normal stuff like nausea, breast tenderness, exhaustion, and all the fun surprises that come with growing a human.
And he called me “disgusting.” Like… just flat out said it. Loudly. In front of people. I was stunned. Embarrassed. And honestly, hurt in a way I didn’t even know how to describe. So I stopped telling him anything. No updates. No symptoms. No cravings. Nothing.
When I went into labor, I didn’t call him. His sister and mom took me to the hospital. He showed up late. Now he’s mad and saying I excluded him from the birth of our child. But I feel like — you made it clear this pregnancy was “gross” to you, so why would I think you’d want to be part of it?
A woman was sharing pregnancy details with her SIL when her husband suddenly called her “disgusting”
Since he hadn’t apologized, she didn’t tell him when the labor started, prompting him to miss the delivery
Let’s talk about it. This isn’t just about one word. It’s about how a pregnant woman is made to feel in her own body, her own marriage. When someone you love calls your normal bodily experience “disgusting,” it cuts deep. So what do you do with that pain? Here’s a deeper look at what happened — and why so many people can relate.
“Disgusting” is more than a word. It’s a form of emotional rejection.
When your partner calls your body disgusting — especially during pregnancy — it’s more than rude. It feels like rejection. A flat-out dismissal of what you’re going through. And when that body is literally creating your child, it stings in a way you can’t even explain.
According to experts in emotional abuse in relationships, shaming a partner for physical experiences (especially those out of their control) is a red flag. It’s dismissive, invalidating, and often leads to silence and emotional distance.
And that’s what happened. You didn’t shut him out to be petty. You shut down because he made your reality feel shameful.
Pregnancy symptoms aren’t “gross.” They’re human.
Let’s normalize something right now: pregnancy isn’t always glowing skin and cute bump pics. It’s gas, cravings, leaking, cramps, and peeing 15 times a night. Saying out loud, “My boobs are sore and I threw up in the car” isn’t TMI — it’s just life for pregnant women.
Women search online every day for terms like:
- is morning sickness normal?
- pregnancy breast tenderness
- round ligament pain during pregnancy
- support for pregnant wives
They’re not trying to be dramatic — they just want to know what’s happening to their body is okay. Your husband hearing that and calling it gross? That’s his issue, not yours.
Emotional labor: You’re carrying more than just the baby.
You weren’t just pregnant. You were also managing his discomfort. Think about it. After he insulted you, you started filtering your words, limiting what you shared, and shrinking yourself down so you wouldn’t make him uncomfortable.
That’s called emotional labor. It’s invisible, exhausting, and unfair. You carried the baby and the emotional weight of protecting your husband’s ego — when he should’ve been protecting your heart.
You also made sure your support system was intact (his mom and sister — bless them). That’s smart. Because clearly, someone needed to step up. And it wasn’t going to be him.
You didn’t exclude him — he took himself out of the experience.
He says you “excluded him” from the birth. But here’s the thing: birth starts long before the hospital. It starts the moment you pee on that stick. And from that moment, he made it clear he didn’t want the real, messy, emotional truth.
So what were you supposed to do? Drag someone into your most vulnerable moment when they’ve already made it clear they find you repulsive?
Choosing not to call him wasn’t about vengeance. It was self-protection. You picked people who would support you — not judge you.
Labor isn’t a performance — it’s survival.
Going into labor is terrifying, painful, overwhelming. It’s not a time to worry about someone else’s feelings. You needed people who would hold your hand, not roll their eyes when you mentioned contractions or bodily fluids.
Terms like birth trauma, safe birth environment, respectful maternal care aren’t just buzzwords. They matter. Because when you’re in labor, feeling emotionally safe is as important as being physically safe.
You protected your peace. That’s not petty — that’s powerful.
The aftermath: Now he wants sympathy.
Now he’s hurt. Embarrassed. Maybe even angry. He wants to play the victim. But you know what? Actions have consequences.
If someone slams the door in your face, they don’t get to act surprised when you don’t invite them in next time.
He’s getting flack from his mom, his sister, his grandma — because they see it. They saw how he made you feel. They supported you through something he should’ve been part of.
He’s not mad he missed it. He’s mad people are finally holding him accountable.
You’re not dramatic. You’re done.
Your dad says you’re being “dramatic and vindictive.” No. You’re setting a boundary. And maybe for the first time in your relationship, it’s a boundary he couldn’t ignore.
You didn’t start a fight. You didn’t scream or throw things. You just said, “Okay. You don’t want to hear about this pregnancy? Cool. I won’t tell you anything.” That’s not revenge. That’s grace under pressure.
The internet is full of women googling things like:
- how to handle an unsupportive husband during pregnancy
- my husband says gross things about my body
- pregnancy emotional abuse
- feeling alone during pregnancy
- birth partner support
You’re not alone. And you’re not wrong.
“Why are you even with this loser?” commenters asked, siding with the wife
So… AITA for not calling him when I went into labor?
Let’s be real. You could’ve called him. But would he have supported you? Or would he have just shown up and made you feel small again?
No one is entitled to your pain. Not even your husband. If he made it clear your body was disgusting to him, then no — you weren’t obligated to make him part of the most physically intimate and vulnerable moment of your life.
So no — you’re NTA. You’re a human being who deserved support, not shame. And if he wants to be part of your daughter’s life, he’s going to have to earn back the right to be part of yours.