WIBTA for Telling My Ex I Was Gifting Him a $2,000 Guitar… Until He Dumped Me Over Cream Cheese?
After 10 years of love, laughs, and making plans for forever, my boyfriend broke up with me… over cheese. Yep, cheese. Specifically cream cheese. But let’s be honest — it wasn’t really about cheese. That little breakfast moment just opened the door for him to unleash years of hidden resentment and cruel thoughts about my body.
Now here’s the twist: I was planning to buy him a custom Gibson Les Paul for his birthday — the dream guitar he’s wanted forever. It cost over $2,000. A huge, loving surprise to thank him for being “so amazing” during my recovery. But now? I’m wondering if I’d be the asshole for telling him what he would have gotten if he hadn’t dumped me like trash over the shape of my stomach.
No partner should make one feel worse about themselves
Unfortunately for this woman, her BF admitted not being attracted to her ‘shape’ and even broke off things because of it
Okay, so let’s unpack this mess. Because it’s about more than a bagel and some cream cheese. It’s about emotional abuse, body shaming in relationships, broken trust, and trying to find your own worth again after someone slowly chips away at it.
When someone calls your body a problem — it’s not about love anymore
Let’s be real. When your partner says, “Your stomach sticks out further than your boobs”, that’s not love. That’s cruelty dressed in fake concern. And it cuts deep — not just because it’s mean, but because it often comes from someone who used to lift you up every day.
This happens more than people admit. In long-term relationships, one partner starts to see the other as “less than” because of weight gain, injury, aging, or even emotional burnout. But weight does not define worth. And if someone only wants to be with you at a certain “shape,” that’s not love — that’s conditional tolerance.
This is where emotional abuse often starts. Little digs. Subtle body shame. Control masked as “health talk.” And people stay, because they remember the earlier love — the compliments, the sweetness, the dreams.
Shifting goalposts: When “forever” turns into “as long as you look the way I like”
He said he didn’t want marriage or kids… then years later says, “I always wanted those things — just not with someone I’m not attracted to.” That’s manipulative. That’s moving the goalposts so he can keep you around while keeping you at a distance emotionally.
It’s a common tactic in emotionally toxic relationships. One partner dangles love, marriage, or commitment like a reward — something you can earn if you behave, change, shrink. It becomes a transaction, not a connection.
3. You lost more than weight — you lost time, self-worth, and dreams
Let’s talk about the years you spent trying to be enough. You dieted. You healed. You compromised. You held on because he said sweet things and made plans. But meanwhile, you were grieving invisible losses — like the dream of motherhood, marriage, real partnership.
You told him on day one what you wanted. And he said he wanted it too. But he changed the narrative mid-game, and made it about your “shape.”
That is not your fault. That is his failure to be honest, and his fear of commitment wrapped in shallow judgments.
You grieve more than the man — you grieve the version of your future he made you believe in.
So what about the guitar? Would you be wrong to tell him what he lost?
Let’s say it plain: Would it feel satisfying to say, “Hey, happy birthday! You could’ve had a custom Les Paul, but instead you broke up with me over dairy”? Hell yes, it would. That’s the petty revenge fantasy a lot of us dream about. The mic drop moment.
But here’s the truth — and you figured this out already — you don’t need to tell him.
Because telling him gives him emotional power. It tells him, “I still think about what you missed out on.” And let’s be honest — he doesn’t deserve to know what you were planning out of love.
Let him wonder. Let him not know. That silence? That’s power. That’s choosing dignity over drama.
losure doesn’t come from revenge — it comes from remembering your worth
You already said it best: “I have to be ok with the fact that he is an a**hole and he may never regret what he did.”
That’s powerful. Because so many people get stuck hoping the person who hurt them will one day wake up crying over what they lost. And sure, sometimes they do. But more often? They don’t.
And that’s okay. Their regret is not your closure.
Your closure is this: You loved him well. You gave 10 years. You survived trauma. You were kind. You were loyal. You wanted a future.
And now? You get your future back. A better one.
Finding self-love again after emotional weight and real weight
Healing from body shaming in relationships isn’t just about losing weight or gaining confidence. It’s about letting go of the belief that your worth is tied to your appearance.
You said you’re happy with your body. That’s amazing. And rare. So many people are googling “how to love my body after weight gain,” or “my partner doesn’t find me attractive anymore — what do I do?”
Here’s the answer: You stay with the body. And you leave the partner.
Because your body? She carried you through trauma. She healed. She held your hope. And she deserves to be loved, just like you do — unconditionally.
You don’t owe him the memory of that gift
The guitar was love. The thought was love. The $2,000 you saved — that’s energy. That’s time. That’s heart.
He doesn’t deserve it. Not even the knowledge of it. He didn’t just lose a present — he lost a partner who believed in him, who celebrated him, who saw him as worthy even when he didn’t return the favor.
Let that be enough.
Netizens encouraged the woman to forget the revenge and move on
You are not the asshole. You are a person who got hurt, deeply, by someone who was too cowardly to be honest, too shallow to love fully, and too emotionally immature to handle real life with a real partner.
You loved him through everything. And now, you get to love yourself back.
The guitar? Put that money toward something wild. A solo trip. A tattoo. A new mattress. A new life. Something that sings your song.
Because you? You’re worth more than a Les Paul. And so is your peace.