In a recent post seeking anonymous advice, a 35-year-old woman shared a dispute she had with her 37-year-old husband over her use of the term “mansplainer.” Her job history has largely been in male-dominated fields, which she believes contextualizes her perspective. The argument arose after her husband, a warehouse manager, recounted concerns he expressed to a female job applicant about potential challenges she might face in his predominantly male workplace. These concerns included off-color jokes, initial hazing for being new, and unwanted advances from coworkers.
The woman felt that her husband was “mansplaining” the environment to the applicant and intended to suggest a more supportive approach. She didn’t directly criticize him but implied that he should acknowledge the applicant’s likely familiarity with such challenges and offer immediate support if needed. However, her husband reacted strongly to being labeled a “mansplainer,” equating it to a slur akin to the N-word.
The woman, seeking validation or criticism of her actions, explained that in her experience, mansplaining is a common occurrence where well-intentioned men inadvertently explain things to women that they already know. She felt her use of the term was mild and not meant to cause offense, but rather to provide a female perspective based on her own experiences.
She clarified that her husband is generally supportive and feminist-minded, actively trying to improve the workplace culture. Despite this, the term “mansplainer” triggered a significant reaction from him, leading to a heated argument about whether her use of the term was appropriate or hurtful.
The woman questioned whether her casual use of “mansplainer” was more offensive than she realized, given her husband’s strong reaction. She sought to understand if her actions were justified or if she had indeed crossed a line by using the term.
Overall, the situation highlighted a clash in perspectives on gender dynamics and communication styles within their relationship, prompting her to seek external opinions on whether she was justified in using the term “mansplainer” in this context.
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Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s post:
