Wife takes kids to Hawaii for Xmas without husband; says it would be unfair not to go.

“AITA for leaving my husband for a Christmas trip to Hawaii with our kids?”

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In this situation, the woman finds herself conflicted over whether she’s in the wrong for sticking to her family’s longstanding Christmas tradition of spending the holiday in Hawaii, despite her husband’s emotional plea to stay and support his grieving mother after the recent loss of his father. The couple had previously agreed on the holiday plans—Thanksgiving with his mother and Christmas in Hawaii, a compromise they reached after his father’s passing last year disrupted their usual routine.

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However, just before their planned departure for Hawaii, her husband expresses doubts, feeling the need to stay with his mother during what he sees as a difficult time for her. In response, the woman offers a compromise where she and the kids go to Hawaii while he stays behind with his mother, which he reluctantly agrees to. This decision, while a compromise, leaves her husband visibly upset, and their communication becomes strained as she proceeds with the holiday trip alone with their children.

The woman grapples with guilt, questioning whether her adherence to the family tradition and the planned trip to Hawaii was selfish, especially in light of her husband’s emotional turmoil. She observes his distance and lack of communication while she manages the holiday activities in Hawaii, feeling the weight of their disagreement and its impact on their relationship.

In seeking perspective on whether she’s the antagonist in this situation, the woman reflects on her family’s long-established Christmas tradition and the logistical commitments already made for the trip. She also considers her husband’s need to support his grieving mother, highlighting the difficult balance between honoring personal traditions and being sensitive to familial needs during times of emotional distress.

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Here’s how people judged OP:

ItsCharlieDay writes:

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innundatedwithbros writes:

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