Entitled Mom Brings Kids To Adults-Only Spa, Loses It When Staff Say “No Entry”
You had a spa voucher and picked the only available time after school. You planned to take your two daughters (aged 5 & 9) with you, like you have before, letting them watch their iPad quietly while you got your nails done. You assumed it would be okay.
But when you arrived, the receptionist bluntly told you no children were allowed anywhere in the spa — not even waiting quietly. The owner repeated the refusal, speaking harshly, refusing to accommodate your kids. You ended up leaving, feeling embarrassed and hurt, especially by how they spoke to you in front of your children.
You don’t feel it was ideal to bring them, but you also feel it was unfair to be treated hostilely, and you wonder: Was it unreasonable of you to expect better manners and more understanding from the staff?
Every establishment sets rules that its customers have to follow, or else they won’t be allowed on the premises
The poster shared that she had decided to get her nails done at a hotel spa, and brought her daughters along as the appointment was just after their school time
Okay, let’s dig in. This is one of those situations where there’s no perfect answer, but there are a lot of feelings, rights, and expectations tangled up. We’re talking customer service, parenting challenges, spa etiquette, public courtesy, and expectations vs rules.
1. The conflict: rules vs empathy
First thing: businesses have the right to set rules. If a spa or hotel decides “no children allowed,” that’s within their power (so long as it’s legal, not discriminatory) to control their environment. They might argue that treatments require quiet, a relaxing atmosphere, and kids (even well-behaved kids) might disrupt that.
On the flip side, many service businesses also aim to treat customers kindly, with empathy. Even if the rule is strict, staff can soften their delivery, offer alternatives, or explain gently. If someone shows up with kids innocently, in good faith, it doesn’t cost much to speak kindly.
So a tension arises: a business enforcing its boundaries vs a client expecting some humanity in communication.
2. Your expectations: fair or unrealistic?
You admit maybe you didn’t fully think it through — you assumed your kids would be quiet, as they have been on past visits, and you’ve had no prior problems. That’s reasonable. As a parent, you learn what works. If your children have behaved well before in similar settings, it’s fair to expect comparable treatment.
Asking for them to sit in reception or waiting area is a small, reasonable request. You weren’t demanding they walk into treatment rooms. You tried to negotiate, you tried to be flexible.
Expecting staff not to speak to you aggressively in front of your children is absolutely reasonable. Even if they can’t allow your children, they still owe you civility and respect.
So your expectations weren’t wildly ambitious. They were modest: let my children wait quietly, be polite in your tone.
3. The staff’s reaction: tone, hostility & power play
This is where a lot of the anger comes from, and with good reason. You say the staff used a “shitty tone,” the owner stood like bouncer at the door, refused alternatives, and shut you out. That’s not just enforcing policy — that’s power play.
In customer service and hospitality, tone matters. A “no, I’m sorry, children cannot go in; we have a strict spa policy for all clients’ comfort” is very different from “absolutely not, you can’t bring them in, leave now.” The latter is confrontational and dismissive.
Doing that in front of your kids compounds the embarrassment. Mothers already carry so much social pressure about how their children behave in public — being publicly shut down in front of your kids is humiliating. The staff choice to behave that way is harsh — yes, unreasonable, in my view.
4. Parenting constraints & scheduling realities
Here’s another layer: as a parent, your time is often limited. After school hours are tough. You might not have babysitters or backup. You may have tried to fit self‑care (getting nails done) into your day the only way you could — by bringing kids. Many parents do exactly that.
So you’re partly operating under constraint. That doesn’t excuse being inconsiderate — but it does frame your decision sympathetically.
You tried to adapt, offer mitigation (lower volume, kids in waiting) — shows you were willing to respect the spa’s environment. That shows thoughtfulness, not disregard.
5. The “was I unreasonable to take them?” question
Strictly speaking — maybe yes, if the spa’s policy was clearly stated somewhere (on their website, in the spa rules) that no children are allowed. If you had prior knowledge, then taking the kids could be seen as ignoring a known rule.
But if you did not see such a rule, or if your prior experiences with nail bars gave you reason to believe it would be fine — then you weren’t being unreasonable to bring them. Many spas and salons allow children in waiting areas or quiet spaces, especially in nail bars. It’s not unusual.
Given you had no warning, planning ahead, having them quiet — it’s fair to say you weren’t being lazy or inconsiderate. You were balancing parenting reality + desire for self-care. It might not have been ideal, but it was not outrageous.
6. The “was I unreasonable for expecting kinder staff?” question
Here’s where I’m firm: No, you weren’t unreasonable to expect civility, politeness, and human decency. Even if their policy is strict, they can still refuse kindly. They can explain, apologize, offer a waiting area outside, schedule a kid‑friendly appointment time, etc.
Rudeness, hostility, infantilizing you or your children — that’s unnecessary. And doing it in front of your children? That’s poor service. If staff want to enforce rules, they should do so respectfully.
So your expectation that they speak to you decently, even if they have to refuse, is completely fair.
7. Social norms & public perception
Some will criticize you: “You should’ve arranged childcare,” “you know kids can’t always behave in spas,” or “you should’ve called ahead.” Some will side with staff: “You brought this on yourself.”
But social norms around “acceptable for kids in spa/beauty settings” are fuzzy. Many nail salons or nail bars accept kids in waiting. Many spas explicitly forbid them. Unless the rule was clear, you had plausible expectation.
Also, clients often judge based on tone. When you’re turned away with hostility, the judgment feels harsh. The staff’s choice in tone influences the narrative: when you’re already struggling as a parent, a harsh word stings more.
8. How it could have been handled better — and your next steps
Here’s what good service might’ve done:
- Reception could have calmly said, “I’m really sorry, but our spa policy is no children in treatment areas. However, they can wait in the lobby or reception until you’re done.”
- If reception space is limited, they could offer a waiting chair slightly out of treatment flow, or temporarily allow kids at the farther corner.
- Offer to reschedule for a more child‑friendly slot (if available).
- Apologize for inconvenience.
- If refusing, soften the refusal with empathy: “I understand this is tough. I’m sorry, but we cannot make exceptions.”
For your next steps:
- You can write a calm complaint to the hotel landlord or spa management. Explain you understand their rules, but were hurt by tone and lack of accommodation.
- Ask if they will clarify policy (e.g. on website or voucher) so others don’t get blindsided.
- In future, call ahead to ask their child policy.
- If possible, seek salons/spas known to be kid‑friendly.
- Do not beat yourself up — you were trying to do something self‑careish in the constraints of motherhood.
9. You were not unreasonable (NTA) — they mishandled it
Putting it all together: you weren’t perfect in bringing your daughters (maybe a little assumption), but you weren’t being unreasonable. You tried to negotiate, you offered compromises, you were polite. What was unreasonable was the spa’s treatment of you — hostile tone, no alternatives proposed, public humiliation in front of your children.
So yes — NTA. You have every right to expect decent service and human decency, even when a place has policies. Their staff could’ve said “no” respectfully. They could’ve made you feel seen. Instead, they chose to shut you down. That’s their fault, not yours.
If you want, I can help you draft a complaint email to the spa/hotel so your voice gets heard clearly — without sounding angry, but firm. Do you want me to help with that?
Most people felt that the woman had overreacted to the situation and should have checked if her kids would be allowed at the spa
