I Want to Break Up With My BF After Our Disaster Vacation — AITAH?
Vacations are supposed to bring people closer, right? But sometimes, they do the opposite — they show you things you can’t unsee. That’s what happened to me (26F) and my boyfriend (27M). What started off as a dream getaway turned into a sun-poisoned, emotionally draining disaster. He got so sick from not using sunscreen properly that he spent most of our two-week trip running to the bathroom, feverish, peeling, and silent.
But honestly, that wasn’t even the worst part. It was everything before and after the trip too. From flaking on important plans to money lies, and even a jealous comment about me chatting with a male neighbor — it all just started adding up. Now I’m wondering: am I a bad person for wanting to end things after this experience? Or did this trip just open my eyes to who he really is?
The woman was excited for her first vacation with her new boyfriend
But the trip revealed sides of him that made her question if they should be together at all
Okay, so let’s dive into this because honestly… you’re not alone. So many people go on a “test trip” with their partner and come back feeling like they’ve just watched a season finale they didn’t expect. What’s supposed to be romantic becomes a plot twist, and suddenly you’re questioning the entire relationship. Let’s break down what happened and why your feelings are actually valid — plus, sprinkle in some lessons, similar stories, and a bit of keyword-rich insight around relationship red flags, dating dealbreakers, and financial dishonesty.
1. The Sun Poisoning Wasn’t Just a Medical Issue… It Was a Metaphor
Let’s start with the obvious: your boyfriend didn’t wear sunscreen properly, got sun poisoning, and basically shut down for the entire trip. At face value, sure, that’s unfortunate. People get sick — it happens. But here’s the thing… a grown man not knowing the basics of sun safety during a hot island vacation? That’s not just “oops” — that’s a sign of poor self-care and lack of responsibility. And honestly, when you’re in a long-term relationship, you want someone who can take care of themselves.
Think about it: what if this had been a family trip with kids? Or a honeymoon? Or a cruise with prepaid non-refundable activities? You’d be stuck again — nursing someone who clearly didn’t prep or think ahead. This isn’t just about sunburn. It’s about maturity, independence, and common sense.
2. Money Lies Break Trust — Even If They Seem Small
Let’s talk money — because that’s another red flag that’s hard to ignore. He admitted to pretending he had enough cash for the vacation activities and later asked you to send him money? That’s not only shady, it’s disrespectful. Financial honesty in relationships isn’t optional — it’s essential. And faking financial stability just to “keep up” is never okay.
Money stress is one of the top reasons couples break up. According to a study from the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts, financial issues are a major contributing factor in over 22% of divorces. And it’s not just about being broke — it’s about hiding, lying, or pretending when the truth matters more.
You were already being responsible by suggesting fewer excursions and trying to save — and he pretended, only to ask for reimbursement? That’s manipulative. And manipulative behavior around money early in a relationship often becomes worse down the line.
3. Last-Minute Canceling on Important Plans = Not Partner Material
Now let’s rewind a bit to before the trip. He bailed on helping you move — a huge life event — because he procrastinated on a work deadline. Then only told you an hour before? That shows poor time management and poor communication.
Yes, work gets busy. But good partners communicate clearly and early. Saying “hey, I’m overwhelmed right now” a day or two ahead is responsible. Waiting until the last hour, then blaming it on staying up till 4am because of bad planning? That’s not someone ready for adult relationships.
It’s like he’s running on excuses instead of accountability. And when you’re planning a life with someone, that’s exhausting. You want someone who can say, “I messed up. I should’ve managed better.” Not just “I was up all night.”
4. The Jealousy Comment? Big Yikes
That whole “I don’t trust you living in your new apartment because of a male neighbor” line? Yeah, huge red flag. That’s possessiveness dressed up as “concern.” It might seem subtle, but this is how controlling behavior often starts.
Today it’s your neighbor. Tomorrow it’s your coworker. Then it’s “who are you texting?” or “why are you posting that pic?” Jealousy like this doesn’t come from love — it comes from insecurity. And you shouldn’t have to manage his emotions just to live your life.
5. Loss of Attraction Is a Valid Reason to End Things
Here’s the thing no one wants to say out loud: sometimes people just become unattractive to us after a certain point — and that’s valid. It’s not shallow. It’s not evil. It’s just how we work.
When you said you’re no longer attracted to him and that the past two months have shown you enough — that’s real. Emotional attraction fades when respect fades. When someone doesn’t show up for you, doesn’t act like an equal, and starts to feel more like a burden than a partner — your heart checks out.
And you’re allowed to leave just because you’re not feeling it anymore. You don’t need a giant blow-up or a major betrayal to say “this isn’t working for me.”
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Let’s be real. You’ve been more than fair. You gave grace when he flaked. You stayed supportive during his vacation sickness. You swallowed your frustration about the money lie. And now you’re just… done. And that’s okay.
Some relationships are just meant to show us what we don’t want. And this one seems like it taught you that:
- You want a partner who’s self-aware and takes care of himself.
- You want honesty — financially, emotionally, all of it.
- You want trust, not jealousy.
- And you want someone who lifts you up, not drags the whole trip (and your energy) down.
So, no. You’re not being too harsh. You’re waking up. And breaking up isn’t about punishing him — it’s about protecting your peace.