“It Is Her Responsibility”: Man Called Out For Demanding His Wealthy Wife Support His Parents

Your money, your problem,” sang the Infamous BIG in 1997, which could sound ridiculous to anybody with monetary points. However as many adults rapidly be taught, household funds and managing who’s the breadwinner has its personal deep set of pitfalls.

One individual internet question if he actually made a mistake in asking his high-paid spouse to care for his dad and mom. She earns greater than him and already provides her personal dad and mom extra cash, so it isn’t too tough, she reasoned. Folks on the web had been fairly unsympathetic, as he rapidly discovered.

Speaking about cash together with your partner generally is a sensitive topic

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A husband needs his well-paid spouse to care for his dad and mom, as a result of he thinks it’s her accountability

Photograph credit: KostiantynVoitenko (not the actual photo)

He supplied some further particulars after some reader questions

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Cash issues are a continuing pitfall in lots of marriages

This story completely covers most of the difficulties that include occupied with funds when in a relationship. No matter precise earnings and earnings inequality, very hardly ever will both social gathering see cash the identical means. We’re fortunate that OP supplied her husband’s household background, as a result of that offers some perception into how he seen funds earlier than and after he obtained a high-paying job. Though on the floor, it might appear that the spouse and her household grew up privileged, as is commonly the case with folks in well-paid positions, nonetheless, their angle in direction of cash reveals that they nonetheless place a really excessive premium on dealing with it.

The true subject right here is that with out a mutual understanding of find out how to method cash, any answer will nonetheless be a compromise, which may in the end result in resentment over time. Whereas OP most likely got here off too robust by declaring her dad and mom her husband’s accountability, it is fairly simple to see how she might enhance their lives a lot with an amount of cash that might be a drop within the bucket for her. From this viewpoint, his actions are extra symbolic, since supporting his spouse’s dad and mom is sort of a rounding error in his funds.

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Monetary administration is a vital check for any relationship

Whereas relationships usually are and must be about love, the fact is that individuals need to make monetary choices day by day, no matter their monetary standing. A study of couples and cohabitation in Poland confirmed that general, relationship satisfaction was affected by how {couples} talked about cash. On the prime of the chain of significance for many {couples} is monetary safety, which normally means masking money owed and payments. Whereas this is probably not a direct concern for OP, given her husband’s earnings, it appears related for her dad and mom, who could stress her out much more.

Associated to managing day-to-day monetary safety is the necessity for long-term safety. In studying, it’s largely linked with the thought of ​​insurance coverage of some form. In OP’s case, she mentions them residing past her explicit means, as a result of her husband has “costly style.” When he asks her to financially help his dad and mom, he says it ought to come from her finish, which might be affordable on this case, but it surely raises some troubling questions. What if the following time he wants cash that he does not have, he provides the identical reply? The truth that most of those points could be solved if he’s paid extra doesn’t negate the truth that his relationship along with his spouse doesn’t carry a way of safety that it most likely does. essential to the long-term survival of a marriage.

Total, analysis means that each folks’s satisfaction with the connection rely on similar goals and values. That is a reasonably subjective subject, however OP’s story could also be indicative of the unlucky indisputable fact that she and her associate most likely do not share the identical values, which is inflicting friction within the relationship. No matter these values ​​and beliefs, a mismatch together with your associate will put the connection on a rocky footing. It additionally implies that there are sometimes no clear solutions and in the end most of these conflicts are what check a relationship essentially the most.

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OP additionally clarified a couple of factors within the feedback

Most readers thought the OP was entitled and demanding

However some readers thought he had some legitimate factors

OP supplied a follow-up about how she felt studying the feedback