Mom Upset MIL Babysits SIL’s 2 Kids but Not Her 5 – Internet Gives Brutal Reality Check
OneGreatSheep, a mum of five energetic boys aged 16 down to just 15 months, is at her wit’s end. Her husband works long hours and is essentially off-duty even when he’s home. This leaves her doing the bulk of childcare and household tasks alone, with no regular support system. And while she rarely asks for help, she’s feeling the sting of favoritism when it comes to her mother-in-law’s (MIL) availability—or lack thereof.
Despite living just 10 minutes away, MIL is a regular presence in her sister-in-law’s (SIL) life. SIL only has two kids, is a stay-at-home mum, and yet MIL regularly does school runs, babysits, and even irons for her. Meanwhile, when OP asked MIL for a simple favor—watching the kids briefly so she could run out to Tesco for nappies—MIL said she was too tired from helping SIL all day. OP ended up dragging all five kids into the rain, with one baby screaming and another having a sensory meltdown, just to grab nappies.
Now she’s asking: AIBU to think MIL should help out every now and then? Or is she wrong to expect anything at all?
Grandparents often love to help babysit their grandchildren, but they shouldn’t be expected to do so all the time
The poster shared that she has five children, ranging from 15 months to 16 years, and that looking after them is a lot of work since her husband never helps
Okay, let’s unpack this chaotic Tesco trip from every angle. This is more than just a nappies run. It’s a classic case of family favoritism, emotional labor overload, and unequal support systems. We’ll talk about all of that—and how this dynamic plays out in a lot of families.
1. Let’s Talk About Mental Load and Burnout
First off—five boys? That’s a whole circus troupe. From toddler tantrums to teenage TikTok scroll-athons, you’ve got the full spectrum of chaos happening every day. And while your husband is technically “providing,” emotional and physical absence still counts as absence.
When one parent is carrying 90% of the load, they burn out faster. And it sounds like you’re there—crispy around the edges, emotionally fried. You’re not asking for weekly spa days. You just wanted to pop to Tesco without hauling an entire rugby team through the rain. That’s a low bar.
2. Why Does MIL Help SIL More?
This stings, and it’s a common pain point. When a grandparent helps one sibling more than another, resentment builds—fast. Especially if the perceived “favorite” already has less on her plate. SIL has two kids and is a SAHM. From your perspective, she’s in a cushier situation—and still gets the VIP granny service.
It’s natural to wonder: Why does she get the help when I need it more? But here’s a tricky truth—people often help where they feel most appreciated, welcomed, or needed in a way that’s not overwhelming. That’s not fair, but it’s real. Sometimes MIL might feel like she has more control or ease in SIL’s home. Or maybe SIL’s better at asking gently or guilt-tripping—who knows?
Still, if you’re drowning, it’s reasonable to ask for a lifeline.
3. Is It Really Cheeky to Ask for Help?
Short answer: No. It’s not cheeky to ask for help—especially from someone who claims to be part of your “support system.”
But the longer answer? It depends on your relationship with MIL. Some MILs want to be hands-on. Others want to keep their distance, especially when they’ve already been “booked” by another family member. And yes, some simply play favorites and don’t care how it looks.
If you’re only texting occasionally for backup and getting turned down each time, that’s not cheeky—it’s desperate. You’ve got a baby and a toddler at once. Just asking for 30 minutes to run an errand isn’t crossing a line—it’s trying to survive.
4. The Emotional Toll of Feeling Overlooked
This kind of imbalance chips away at your confidence and peace of mind. You’re working harder than ever, and it feels like nobody sees it. Or worse—they see it and just shrug. That moment outside Tesco, in the rain, carrying screaming kids, wondering why you’re doing it all alone—that’s the real heartbreak here.
People say “it takes a village,” but no one tells you what to do when your village is across town at SIL’s house ironing school shirts.
5. How Do You Even Bring This Up Without Causing Drama?
This is where it gets dicey. If you call out the favoritism directly, MIL might get defensive. She could say you’re ungrateful or too demanding. But it’s worth having a calm, respectful convo—not to guilt her, but to let her know you’re struggling.
Try something like:
“I know you help SIL a lot, and I’m happy she has that support. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately, and I’d really appreciate it if you could spare a bit of time now and then—even just 30 mins for an errand.”
It’s okay to ask. It’s not okay to pretend everything’s fine while falling apart inside.
6. AIBU Verdict?
Nah, you’re not being unreasonable. You’re just exhausted and human. Could MIL be more balanced with her help? Absolutely. Is she obligated to step in like a paid nanny? No. But this isn’t about obligation—it’s about kindness, family, and fairness.
A little support could go a long way, especially when you’re raising five kids largely solo. You didn’t demand a full-time commitment—just a simple favor. And if she’s got energy for school runs and ironing for another adult, it’s fair to feel overlooked when she won’t spare ten minutes for nappies.
People felt that the woman was being unreasonable by expecting her husband’s mom to always babysit
Overwhelmed mum of five can’t get a break—not even for a quick Tesco trip. Her MIL, who helps her sister-in-law constantly, refused a small favor and left her in the lurch. Now she’s wondering if it’s fair to expect some help. Spoiler: it kinda is.