My Own Mom Nuked My Credit Score—And Her Excuse Was Unreal

OP had been quietly panicking for months. Her credit score was tanked. She couldn’t figure out why. There was no huge debt she knew about, no missed payments she remembered. Maybe a bill slipped through the cracks. Maybe something went to collections and she missed the notice.

Then came the gut punch.

While applying for a basic financial product, the banker casually mentioned accounts that had been open since 2022. Accounts OP had never heard of. That’s when it clicked. She hadn’t forgotten a payment. She hadn’t missed a bill.

Her mother had stolen her identity.

Three years of late payments, maxed-out cards, unpaid bills—all under OP’s name. And when she finally confronted her mom, desperate for an explanation, the response was bone-chilling:

“You didn’t need good credit for anything anyway.”

No apology. No remorse. Just a flippant brush-off like OP’s future was a minor inconvenience. Now, OP is left holding the pieces of a ruined financial reputation, slowly rebuilding her credit from zero—one tiny, verified purchase at a time.

When parents put their selfish needs before their child’s well-being, it can cause immense damage to their relationship

The poster explained that her credit score had been terrible for the last couple of years and that she had always blamed herself for it

Let’s be clear: this wasn’t a mistake. It was fraud. And worse? It came from someone OP trusted unconditionally—her own mom. This kind of betrayal doesn’t just mess up your credit—it hits deep. It’s emotional, financial, and legal trauma all wrapped into one.

🕵️‍♂️ Identity Theft by a Family Member = Financial Abuse

When people think of identity theft, they imagine hackers, stolen wallets, or phishing emails. But according to the Federal Trade Commission, a shocking number of identity theft cases are committed by family members—especially parents or older relatives who have access to personal information.

It’s called familial identity theft, and it’s especially common when:

• The victim is young and has no credit history.
• The thief has access to SSNs, birth certificates, or mail.
• The thief assumes the victim won’t report them.

Many victims don’t even discover it until they apply for credit cards, loans, or apartments—and by then, the damage is done.

And the worst part? Victims often don’t want to press charges because of emotional or family pressure. Sound familiar?

💥 The Real-World Consequences of a Ruined Credit Score

A trashed credit score isn’t just a number. It follows you everywhere.

• Can’t get approved for apartments. Landlords check credit to see if you’re “reliable.”
• Pay higher car insurance. Yup, some states use credit as part of your rate.
• Hard to qualify for loans or even jobs. Some employers run credit checks for hiring.
• Denied for credit cards or charged massive interest. That means you pay more for less.

So when OP’s mom casually says, “You didn’t need good credit,” she’s wrong on so many levels. OP’s ability to live independently, build wealth, or even rent an apartment just took a huge hit.

😱 “You Didn’t Need Good Credit Anyway”: The Gaslight of the Century

That line? That’s not just disrespectful. It’s manipulative.

It’s what therapists call minimization—downplaying the harm of abusive actions to avoid responsibility. It’s common in toxic family dynamics where boundaries don’t exist and one person believes they’re entitled to another’s resources.

It’s the same as saying:

• “I did it for your own good.”
• “You wouldn’t have used your credit anyway.”
• “It’s not a big deal.”

Except it is a big deal. It’s identity theft, financial abuse, and a federal crime.

🔒 Rebuilding Credit from Scratch—How OP’s Doing It Right

OP mentioned she’s rebuilding the slow and steady way—tiny charges tied to a secure account. That’s actually a smart move. She’s likely using something like a secured credit card or a prepaid charge card that only spends what you load into it—like Fizz, Chime, or Step.

Here’s why that works:

• No credit check required. Great for rebuilding after identity theft.
• Only spends what’s already in your account. No risk of overspending or more debt.
• Reports to credit bureaus. Helps rebuild your credit score over time.

Other steps victims of familial identity theft should take include:

1. File an Identity Theft Report through the FTC at identitytheft.gov
2. Freeze your credit with all three bureaus (Equifax, Experian, TransUnion) to stop future fraud.
3. Dispute fraudulent accounts in writing and include police reports if you choose to file.
4. Monitor your credit constantly. Use free services like Credit Karma or paid tools like Experian Boost or myFICO.

⚖️ Should You Report Your Own Mom?

This is the hardest part.

Pressing charges against a parent is emotionally brutal. But let’s be honest: this wasn’t an accident. This was theft. And it left real damage.

Some questions to ask yourself:

• Is she sorry? Has she offered to fix it?
• Will she do it again?
• Are you financially safe around her?
• Is she willing to pay restitution or work with you?

If the answer to any of those is no… you might need to protect yourself legally. That could mean reporting her, filing a police report, or taking civil action to recover damages.

You’re not heartless for wanting to protect your future.

🧵 Reddit Would Be LIVID

If this story hit r/personalfinance, r/relationships, or r/raisedbynarcissists, the responses would be fiery.

“Cut her off and report her. That’s unforgivable.”

“This isn’t just toxic—it’s criminal.”

“Your mom stole your future. You owe her nothing.”

“Imagine being so entitled you destroy your kid’s credit to pay for crap you can’t afford.”

Reddit’s moral compass leans hard toward justice when the betrayal runs this deep. And this? This is betrayal with a capital B.

Enraged folks told the poster to immediately report her mother and not to accept the situation so meekly

Was She Justified in Cutting Ties?

Yes. A hundred times yes.

OP is not overreacting. She’s protecting herself. Her credit. Her independence. Her future. What her mom did wasn’t a mistake—it was a conscious, selfish decision with long-term consequences. And the lack of remorse? That just adds salt to the wound.

Rebuilding from scratch is tough. But it’s also empowering. OP’s on the right track, starting small and choosing tools that protect her peace. That’s the win. Not the betrayal—but the recovery.