"My [32 M] best friend asked if I would be her [30 F] sperm donor for her surrogate and I am in love with her but she has no idea."

A 32-year-old man is faced with a deeply personal dilemma when his 30-year-old best friend, who is a cancer survivor, asks him to be the sperm donor for her surrogate. Having been friends since college, he has long harbored romantic feelings for her, though she is unaware. They shared a brief, drunken encounter years ago, which he attributed to the circumstances rather than genuine romantic interest. Despite surviving a severe battle with ovarian cancer and undergoing a hysterectomy, she remains hopeful of becoming a mother through surrogacy and has chosen him as the potential donor.

The man is deeply touched by her trust and the significance she places on him fulfilling this role. However, he is conflicted because he has loved her for years and believes it is important to express his feelings before agreeing to the donation. He worries about how to approach this sensitive topic, balancing his desire to support her dreams with the potential impact of revealing his emotions.

To navigate this situation thoughtfully, he is seeking advice on the best way to disclose his feelings. He values their friendship immensely and is prepared to continue supporting her regardless of the outcome. He wants to ensure that his approach respects their long-standing bond and aligns with her hopes for surrogacy. Ultimately, he aims to handle the conversation with care, aiming to preserve their friendship and support her aspirations while addressing his own emotions.

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'My BFF who I am secretly in love with asked me to be her sperm donor.' UPDATED

Navigating the complexities of personal relationships and reproductive choices can be incredibly challenging. One individual is faced with a decision about whether to donate sperm to a friend who wishes to have a child, all while grappling with their own deep feelings for her. The consensus among the advice given suggests that honesty and clear communication are paramount.

It is crucial for the individual to openly express their emotions before proceeding with any sperm donation. This transparency can help avoid potential complications, such as dealing with the possibility of the child being raised by another partner of the friend, which could lead to emotional distress and complex legal issues, including child support.

Many argue that the individual should consider the possibility of starting a romantic relationship first. This approach allows for a more thoughtful decision about the future, including the prospect of raising a child together. If the feelings are reciprocated, it could lead to a meaningful partnership and a shared experience of parenthood.

However, if the feelings are not mutual, the individual should be prepared for the possibility of the friend choosing another donor and the emotional impact that could have.

Ultimately, taking a step-by-step approach—first addressing personal feelings, then discussing them openly, and only proceeding with sperm donation if both parties are aligned—seems to be the most prudent path. This method ensures that all parties involved are on the same page, reducing the risk of future complications and fostering a healthier environment for any potential future child.