Went No Contact with My Sister After Her Thanksgiving Attack — AITA?

I (23 F) and my husband (24 M) went to my hometown for Thanksgiving, extended family, the works. My sister (28 F) was obnoxious all weekend — small arguments Wednesday and Thursday. Saturday night, she got drunk at a family party. We played cards, she messed up twice, I said, “Maybe pay attention—this is the 2nd time you’ve messed up.” She exploded: insulted me, referenced my pregnancy (I’m expecting), called me names. Later she came up, wrapped her arms around my face and squeezed hard. I pushed her off. Then I found out she and her boyfriend drove home drunk after the party, despite offers to get them a safe ride. I made a comment about it (“0.1” was her BF’s breathalyser reading) which triggered her further. Then she pushed open the bathroom door while I changed and attacked me verbally. At that point I decided no contact: blocked her, no plans to involve her in my baby’s life. My parents say I should give her a chance; I just want a calm, safe environment for my child. AITA?

Two sisters got into a dramatic fight during Thanksgiving weekend with their extended family

By the end of it, one sister decided to cut the other out of her life for good

Okay, so let’s walk through this carefully—because there’s a lot going on: sibling rivalry, jealousy, pregnancy, disrespect, alcohol, boundaries. We’ll look at the conflict, the sibling dynamics, the justification for no contact, and what research says about sibling estrangement. Keywords you’ll see: sibling estrangement, family conflict resolution, toxic sibling relationship, setting boundaries with family, pregnancy and family stress.

What actually happened and what it means

From your account: your sister has been acting with jealousy (you’re married, homeowner, baby on the way; you’re younger) and made comments to show she thinks you’re “better than her,” etc. At the party she messed up the game rules twice, you called her out, she reacted badly, insulted you explicitly referencing your pregnancy, then physical contact (wrapping arms, squeezing face), then drove drunk and you made a comment about it, and she entered the bathroom to confront you physically/verbal. That is a series of disrespectful, unsafe, boundary‑violating behaviors.

In families, especially siblings, these tensions get amplified when life transitions happen (engagement, marriage, homeownership, baby). Research shows sibling relationships are especially vulnerable at transitional points. The Guardian+2ASU News+2 Jealousy, competitiveness, and perceived favoritism all escalate sibling conflict. Eggshell Therapy and Coaching+1

Given that you’re pregnant and prioritizing a safe and peaceful environment, your decision to enforce boundaries isn’t just emotional—it’s practical.

What research says about sibling estrangement

It might help to frame your decision within what studies show. Estrangement between siblings in adulthood isn’t rare. One study found about 28% of people experienced at least one episode of sibling estrangement. Psychology Today+1 Another survey found the most common reasons for sibling estrangement include personality conflicts (29%), lies or betrayal (29%), and manipulative behaviour (26%). YouGov So your scenario—combination of jealousy, repeated boundary‑violations, disrespect—fits the pattern of legitimate estrangement triggers.

Other research shows that estranged persons often feel shame, isolation, confusion. Psychology Today+1 But the important point: family relationships are not guaranteed safe or healthy just because they’re family. The assumption “blood means you stay connected no matter what” is challenged in many family systems. UWE Bristol Research Repository+1

Are you justified in going no contact?

Yes—say if you consider these factors:

• Safety and emotional health: She physically invaded your space (wrapping arms around face, pushing door) and verbally attacked you. That crosses into unsafe territory.
• Repeated disrespect: This was not a one‑off. You’d described tension earlier in the weekend; this seems to be part of a pattern (jealous comments, comparison, insults).
• Setting a boundary with a reasonable goal: You’re about to have a baby and want to protect your “circle” and environment. That is absolutely a valid reason for setting a boundary.
• You offered or were open to some resolution: You told her you wanted her to apologize for name‑calling; you didn’t immediately cut her off at the first insult. You escalated only after the physical boundary violation and repeated disrespect.

Therefore, your decision appears reasonable and grounded in personal well‑being rather than pure spite or anger.

What about your parents saying you should “give her a chance”?

This is a common plea in family conflict: “It’s family, you should forgive and reconnect.” However, forgiveness or reconnecting doesn’t mean you accept unsafe or toxic behaviour. Research suggests reconciliation is possible but can only happen when both parties are willing to address the underlying issues (hurt, resentment, disrespect) and change. The Guardian+1 If the sister refuses to acknowledge her behaviour or continues the jealousy/disrespect cycle, then you reconnecting without change may just reopen wounds.

Is there risk in cutting her off?

Yes. Estrangement often comes with emotional consequences: shame, feeling judged, wondering if you were too harsh, or questioning “Did I overreact?” Research shows estranged siblings often feel isolated and the culture expects “family stays connected,” which makes them feel their choice is a personal failing. Psychology Today+1 So you might face internal conflict, pressure from others, or guilt—even if your decision is justified.

What to consider as you move forward

• Define your boundary: What “no contact” means for you—total cut‑off, limited contact, only for emergencies? Clarify to yourself.
• Communicate clearly (if you want): You may decide to send a message: “I need time/distance to protect my family and myself. If you choose to apologize and show respect consistently, we can revisit this.” That gives space for her to change without you being passive.
• Prepare emotionally: Realize this may not “fix” overnight. You may feel loss (not just of sister, but of what you hoped for). That’s valid.
• Seek support: Your husband, friends, maybe a counselor can help you process the hurt, set firm boundaries, deal with family pressure.
• Decide baby‑impact: You’re pregnant—so ask: What kind of relationship (if any) with the sister is safe and beneficial for you and baby? It’s okay to decide it’s minimal or none.

My verdict: A‑OK

You are not the asshole for prioritizing your safety, your unborn child’s environment, and your emotional health. Your sister behaved badly—physically, verbally, repeatedly—and you gave indication you wanted an apology and change. When that didn’t happen (and things escalated), you made a boundary. That’s healthy.

If anything, you might consider softening your approach (if you want to preserve possibility of relationship) but that is your choice—not something you must do. Your primary job right now is to protect your peace and your baby.

“I just remember she was all over me, and I had to push her out of the bathroom twice,” the woman described the incident

Family doesn’t always equal safe. Sometimes “family” means you have to make tough calls for your mental and emotional well‑being. You’re about to enter a huge transition (baby, home, new chapter); you get to choose the climate you bring that baby into. Your decision to go no contact is within reason given what happened.

If you ever decide you want to revisit things with your sister, you can. But you do not owe her immediate forgiveness or access. And you definitely don’t owe your baby the stress of a toxic relationship.