My Boyfriend Cheated on Me While on Sick Leave—So I Sent His Employer the Evidence. AITA?
A 25-year-old woman thought she was building a happy future with her 23-year-old boyfriend. They had been together for two and a half years and were making plans to live together. A few months earlier, he had ended their relationship but came back the next day. He told her he was going through a difficult time with his mental health and had made a mistake. He promised that he loved her and wanted to stay with her forever. She decided to trust him again. They started getting her home ready, moved furniture around, and spent money on moving expenses and other things they needed. Everything seemed fine until he went on a volunteer trip.
At the time, her boyfriend was on sick leave from work because of mental health concerns. He decided to go on a week-long volunteer trip without telling his employer. His girlfriend was not comfortable with him keeping the trip a secret, but he went anyway. When he returned, he told her he had met another woman and wanted to end their relationship. He also admitted that he had been thinking about leaving for a long time but stayed because he did not want to be alone. The woman was shocked because she had believed his promises about their future. Things became even more upsetting when he brought his new girlfriend to her home to help collect his belongings.
After the breakup, the woman felt hurt and angry. She decided to contact her ex-boyfriend’s employer about his volunteer trip. She created an anonymous email account and sent screenshots from his social media posts showing that he had traveled while on sick leave. She believed his employer should know about the trip and decide whether it followed the company’s sick leave policies. However, taking a trip does not always mean someone is ready to return to work, especially when mental health is involved. The situation also raised questions about employee benefits, workplace rules, and professional responsibility.
Now the woman is unsure whether sending the email was the right decision. Some people believe she was right to share information about a possible workplace policy issue. Others think she acted because she was upset about the breakup. She had already spent time and money preparing for their future, and losing the relationship was difficult enough. The disagreement has raised questions about relationship trust, personal boundaries, and workplace ethics. Should she have left his employment situation alone, or was it reasonable to let his employer review what happened?
When a Painful Breakup Turns Into a Workplace Problem
Breakups are never easy, especially when you have spent years planning a future with someone.
But imagine finding out that your boyfriend was planning to leave you while still making promises about your life together.
That is what happened to one woman in a Reddit story.
She had been with her boyfriend for two and a half years. They were making plans to live together, and she had already spent money getting their future home ready.
Then everything changed.
Her boyfriend went on a volunteer trip while taking sick leave from work for mental health reasons. During that trip, he met another woman and started a new relationship.
When he returned, he told his girlfriend that he wanted to break up.
He also admitted that he had been waiting to find someone else because he did not want to be alone.
The woman was deeply hurt.
Instead of simply walking away, she created an anonymous email account and sent screenshots of his trip to his employer.
She hoped the company would investigate whether he had broken its sick leave rules.
Now, the story raises a difficult question.
Was she right to report him, or did she take her anger too far?
Was the Boyfriend Wrong for What He Did?
Based on the woman’s account, her boyfriend treated her unfairly.
They had been together for more than two years and were planning to share a home.
She trusted him when he talked about their future.
She even spent money preparing for him to move in.
But according to the story, he was already thinking about leaving the relationship.
He later admitted that he had stayed because he did not want to be single.
That would be painful for anyone to hear.
The situation became even worse when he made an unnecessary comparison between his former girlfriend’s appearance and that of his new partner.
He also reportedly brought the new woman along when collecting his belongings.
Those choices added more hurt to an already difficult breakup.
In a healthy relationship, honest communication, respect, and trust are important.
People have the right to end relationships when their feelings change.
But they should still try to treat their partners with kindness and honesty.
The boyfriend could have ended the relationship before starting something new.
Instead, his actions left his former girlfriend feeling that the future they had planned together was never as secure as she believed.
Does Going on Vacation During Sick Leave Mean Someone Is Breaking the Rules?
This is one of the most important questions in the story.
The boyfriend was taking time away from work for mental health reasons.
During that time, he went on a volunteer trip.
His former girlfriend believed that traveling while on sick leave might be against his employer’s rules.
But the situation is not that simple.
Taking mental health leave does not always mean someone must stay home.
A person may be unable to handle their regular job duties while still being able to travel, spend time with friends, or take part in other activities.
For example, someone dealing with work-related stress may benefit from spending time outdoors or doing something meaningful away from their normal routine.
The UK’s National Health Service provides information about staying active and connected with others while managing depression.
The World Health Organization also recognizes that mental health conditions can affect a person’s ability to work.
So, seeing someone enjoying a trip does not automatically prove that they are ready to return to their job.
However, employees still need to follow their company’s sick leave policies and workplace regulations.
Some employers have specific rules about travel, medical leave, or reporting certain activities.
If an employee breaks those rules, the company may have a reason to investigate.
But the Reddit story does not prove that the boyfriend broke any employment rules.
It only tells us that he traveled during sick leave and did not tell his employer about the trip.
Can an Employer Fire Someone for Traveling During Medical Leave?
The answer depends on the situation.
Different countries have different employment laws and employee protection policies.
In the United States, the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) may provide eligible employees with job-protected leave for certain medical and family reasons.
This can include qualifying mental health conditions.
However, employees must still follow applicable leave requirements.
Employers may investigate suspected misuse of medical leave when they have a reasonable basis for concern.
A U.S. court case called Capps v. Mondelez Global, LLC involved an employee who was dismissed after his employer believed he had misused medical leave.
The court considered the employer’s stated reasons and whether its belief about the alleged misuse was honestly held.
Another case, Kariotis v. Navistar International Transportation Corp., involved an investigation into suspected medical leave misuse.
These cases show why employment law, medical leave benefits, and workplace investigations can become complicated.
They do not mean that traveling during sick leave is automatically wrong.
An employer would need to consider the employee’s medical situation, workplace policies, and available evidence.
In this Reddit story, the boyfriend’s employer would need to make its own decision.
The screenshots alone would not prove that he was medically fit to work.
Why Did the Girlfriend Want Revenge?
The woman admitted that she wanted revenge after the breakup.
That detail matters.
She was not simply reporting something she had noticed at work.
She was contacting her ex-boyfriend’s employer after he had hurt her.
It is easy to understand why she felt angry.
She had invested more than two years in the relationship.
She had spent money preparing their home and believed they were building a future together.
Then she learned that he had been waiting for another relationship before leaving.
She may have felt embarrassed, disappointed, and taken advantage of.
When people experience a painful breakup, they sometimes want the other person to understand how much hurt they caused.
Revenge can seem like a way to regain control.
But it does not always make someone feel better.
Research by psychologists Kevin Carlsmith, Timothy Wilson, and Daniel Gilbert explored how revenge affects people’s feelings after being treated unfairly.
Their findings suggested that taking revenge can sometimes keep people thinking about the event that upset them.
Instead of helping them move forward, it may keep the painful memories fresh.
This is why emotional recovery, mental health support, and relationship counseling can be helpful after a difficult breakup.
The woman had every reason to feel hurt.
But involving her ex-boyfriend’s employer might not give her the peace she was hoping for.
Was Reporting Him to His Employer Fair?
This is where the story becomes more complicated.
The woman created a separate email account and sent screenshots from her ex-boyfriend’s Instagram activity to his employer.
She wanted the company to know that he had traveled while taking sick leave.
But was that a fair thing to do?
There is an important difference between reporting a possible workplace policy violation and trying to punish someone for a personal disagreement.
If an employee is genuinely breaking company rules, an employer may need to know.
However, a report should be based on accurate information.
In this case, the screenshots reportedly showed that the boyfriend had been on a volunteer trip.
They did not necessarily prove that he had misused his medical leave.
That would depend on his medical circumstances and the company’s policies.
An employer should investigate the facts before making any employment decision.
The woman could report what she knew, but she could not decide whether her ex had broken the rules.
That responsibility belonged to his employer.
Her reason for sending the email also matters when judging the situation.
She openly said she wanted revenge.
That makes the decision harder to defend as a simple workplace safety or policy concern.
Could the Anonymous Email Cause More Problems?
The woman may have believed that using a fake email account would keep her identity private.
But anonymous messages are not always impossible to trace or connect to a person.
Her ex-boyfriend might suspect that she sent the complaint, especially if they had already discussed his decision to travel during sick leave.
If that happened, it could create even more conflict between them.
There is also the question of accuracy.
Sending truthful information is different from making claims that someone knows are false.
Depending on local laws, knowingly false statements that damage another person’s reputation may create legal problems.
This is why employee rights, workplace investigations, and employment law are important when someone reports possible misconduct.
The company should review the evidence fairly rather than treating an anonymous message as proof.
For the woman, the situation could also become emotionally exhausting.
Instead of moving forward after the breakup, she might spend weeks wondering whether her ex was being investigated or whether he would lose his job.
That could make it harder to leave the relationship behind.
What About the Money She Spent on Their Future Home?
One part of the story that should not be overlooked is the money.
The woman had already spent money preparing for her boyfriend to move in.
She believed they were going to share a home and build a future together.
When the relationship ended, those plans changed.
That may have left her dealing with expenses she never expected to handle alone.
Breakups can create financial problems, especially when couples have shared plans or purchases.
This is where personal financial planning and budgeting become important.
The woman may need to review what she spent, decide which purchases she can still use, and work out whether any shared expenses need to be settled.
If the couple had jointly purchased furniture or household items, they might need to agree on who keeps them.
If there are disagreements about money or property, local legal advice may help explain their options.
The story does not provide enough information to know whether the boyfriend owed her any money.
Still, focusing on her own finances could be more useful than waiting to see what happens with his job.
Would Getting Him Fired Really Make Things Better?
It is understandable that the woman wanted her ex-boyfriend to face consequences.
His behavior had hurt her, and she may have felt that he had moved on without caring about the damage he left behind.
But losing a job is a serious matter.
It can affect a person’s income, financial stability, and future career.
That does not mean employees should avoid consequences when they genuinely break workplace rules.
It simply means employment decisions should be based on workplace conduct and reliable evidence.
The boyfriend’s treatment of his girlfriend was a personal issue.
Whether he followed his employer’s medical leave policies was a separate question.
The two should not automatically be treated as the same problem.
Even if the employer decided to take action, the woman might still feel hurt about the relationship.
Her ex losing his job would not bring back the time, money, or trust she had invested.
Sometimes, the best way to move forward is to focus on rebuilding your own life rather than waiting for something bad to happen to someone else.
What Could She Have Done Instead?
After a painful breakup, it can be difficult to think clearly.
The woman had just discovered that the relationship she believed in was ending.
She was understandably upset.
But there were other ways she could have handled the situation.
She could have taken some time away from her ex-boyfriend before making decisions.
She could have reviewed the money she spent on their future home and worked out any remaining financial matters.
She might also have benefited from speaking with a trusted friend, family member, or professional counselor.
Relationship counseling and emotional support services can help people process difficult experiences and decide how they want to move forward.
None of these steps would change what her boyfriend had done.
But they could help her focus on things she could control.
She did not need to forgive him immediately.
She also did not need to remain involved in his life.
Moving on does not mean pretending that someone treated you well.
It means choosing what is best for your own future.
Final Verdict: ESH — Both Made Questionable Choices
Based on the Reddit story, ESH (Everyone Sucks Here) seems like a reasonable verdict, although the two people made very different mistakes.
The boyfriend treated his girlfriend unfairly.
He reportedly made promises about their future while waiting for another romantic opportunity.
He also made hurtful comments about her appearance and brought his new partner when collecting his belongings.
Those actions showed little consideration for his former girlfriend’s feelings.
But the girlfriend’s decision to contact his employer also raises concerns.
She admitted that she wanted revenge.
Although reporting a genuine workplace policy violation can be reasonable, the available information does not prove that her ex broke the rules.
Taking a volunteer trip while on mental health leave does not automatically mean someone is able to return to work.
If she only shared accurate information and allowed the employer to investigate, that is different from making a false accusation.
Still, using a workplace complaint as a way to get back at an ex can create more problems than it solves.
The employer should decide whether any rules were broken.
The woman, meanwhile, deserves the chance to move forward, recover from the breakup, and focus on her own financial and emotional well-being.
Her boyfriend’s behavior was hurtful, but that does not automatically make every form of revenge fair.
What do you think?
If your partner started a new relationship during a trip they took while on sick leave, would you report it to their employer or leave their job out of the breakup?
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