AITA for Cooking My Mom’s Ham Despite My Wife Saying No?

In this story, a husband asks his wife if he can invite his mother for Thanksgiving dinner, but with one condition: she wants a ham, which his wife does not want to serve. After some back-and-forth, the husband decides to buy the ham himself and cook it, leading to a heated argument with his wife. Now, his wife is furious, calling him a “mama’s boy” and making the situation tense just before his mom arrives. The question is: Is the husband wrong for cooking the ham despite his wife’s objections?

A man’s wife agreed to invite his mom for Thanksgiving, yet refused to include her favorite meal

So he made it himself, but she found it insulting

Okay, here’s the situation. My wife is very traditional, likes things to be done the “proper” way, and can be pretty rigid about it. We’re talking about Thanksgiving dinner and family dynamics, which is where things get complicated. My mom and my wife don’t exactly get along—like, they can’t even be in the same room. But that’s not the point of this story. The point is that my mom is super particular about Thanksgiving, and she wants ham.

Growing up, my mom always insisted on having a ham for Thanksgiving dinner. Sure, we had turkey, but she wouldn’t touch the turkey. She only cared about the ham. Now that I have my own family, my mom doesn’t really do the hosting thing anymore, and she prefers to go to a friend’s house. But this year, things aligned, and MIL (mother-in-law) is out of state, my mom’s friend isn’t hosting due to a family emergency, and my wife was okay with me inviting my mom… but there was one big catch: no ham.

When I told my mom she was invited, she was thrilled, but then she said the only way she’d come was if she could have ham. She even offered to cook it herself, which I thought was generous. But, of course, when I brought it up to my wife, she freaked out and said, “Absolutely not. Your mom can’t cook anything in my kitchen.”

So, I did what seemed like a reasonable thing—asked my wife if she could cook the ham. It’s not like I’m asking her to do anything crazy, but she lost it. She yelled at me, saying that ham should only be for Christmas or Easter, not Thanksgiving. At that point, I had had enough. My mom had made it clear she wouldn’t come unless there was ham, and I wasn’t going to tell her no. So, I went out, bought a ham, and told my wife I’d cook it myself.

This is where things went downhill. My wife got really emotional, saying that holiday cooking was “her job” and she felt like I was disrespecting her by cooking anything during the holidays. Honestly, I was frustrated. I wasn’t disrespecting her—I was just trying to make my mom happy and keep the peace. I told her I was going to cook the ham, and that was that.

Well, now I’m standing guard, making sure my mom’s ham gets done just right. My wife is furious, calling me a “mama’s boy” and saying some not-so-nice things about my mom. She even involved our daughter, joking about how they could mess with the ham. The tension in the house is palpable.

Redditors shared their takes on the situation

So now, I’m left wondering: AITA for going ahead and cooking the ham myself, even though my wife didn’t want it? I’m not trying to start a fight, but I feel like I’m caught between two women who just can’t get along. Should I have just let it go and accepted no ham? Or was I right to cook it the way I wanted to?