He Asked to Go on a Trip Weeks After My C-Section – I’m Still in Shock
My husband and I are expecting our second child in December, and it’s going to be a scheduled C-section. That means I’ll be recovering from major abdominal surgery, breastfeeding, and adjusting to life with a newborn—possibly while also managing our toddler. So when we casually chatted about New Year’s plans, I mentioned I might possibly be up for a short trip with friends… if I felt okay. Then he hit me with, “If you change your mind, do I get a free pass?”—aka, can he still go on the trip without me?
I was stunned. Less than a month after surgery, he’s thinking about leaving me solo with two kids? While I’m physically and emotionally wrecked? He said he was “just checking,” but it honestly hurt to hear. I expected support, not a vacation request. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting, but his timing—and the lack of awareness—really threw me.
Giving birth and recovering from it can be incredibly tough
So when the woman heard her husband wanted to go on a trip just weeks after delivery, she was shocked
Let’s set the scene. You’ve just had major surgery—a scheduled C-section. You’re in the early stages of healing. You’ve got a newborn who wakes every 2 hours. You might also be juggling a toddler. And your husband? He casually asks if he can go on a trip with friends for New Year’s. Yup. While you’re still recovering and bleeding.
So… are you wrong for feeling upset? Not even close.
1. Postpartum Isn’t a Mini-Break
Recovering from a C-section isn’t just a physical healing—it’s a full-body, full-life reset. You’re managing pain, hormones, sleep deprivation, and learning how to juggle a second kid. It’s exhausting. It’s real. And it’s not something you should be doing alone.
According to medical experts, healing from a C-section takes 6–8 weeks minimum. During this time:
- You’re not supposed to lift heavy things (including your toddler).
- You may need help getting in/out of bed or managing stairs.
- Breastfeeding can be painful or complicated post-surgery.
- Emotional swings are normal and even dangerous in some cases (think: postpartum depression).
So no—this isn’t the time for your partner to be planning getaways.
2. What Reddit Thinks: “Absolutely NOT”
This exact scenario recently blew up on Reddit, and people had thoughts.
One top commenter wrote:
“The fact that he’s even thinking about leaving you alone after major surgery with a newborn and a toddler? Wild. Not okay.”
Another said:
“He’s either clueless or selfish—either way, this is a moment where you need support, not solo parenting.”
Reddit was loud and clear: You are not the AH. He’s the one stepping out of line.
3. C-Section Reality Check
Here’s a quick breakdown from trusted medical sources:
- Driving? Usually not allowed until 4–6 weeks post-surgery.
- Lifting? Nothing heavier than your baby for at least a month.
- Rest? You need loads of it—and rest is impossible with two kids and no support.
- Complications? Without help, your risk of reopening your incision, infection, or serious complications goes up fast. (Mount Sinai, The Bump)
This isn’t about being dramatic. It’s about staying safe—and alive.
4. It’s Not About “Permission” — It’s About Priorities
Let’s break this down even more:
- Your husband is not asking permission to go on a trip.
- He’s testing whether it’s okay to leave you alone during the hardest moment of your recovery.
That’s not a partnership. That’s someone looking for an out.
This isn’t about control. It’s about mutual support. When you’re in pain, vulnerable, bleeding, exhausted, and learning to keep a tiny human alive… your partner should be right next to you—not packing for New Year’s.
5. He Says He Was “Just Checking” – But Why Ask at All?
This is the part that really stings. The fact that he’s thinking about leaving instead of showing up says a lot.
Even asking the question implies that your needs aren’t top of mind. It shifts the emotional labor to you—now you’re the one who has to say “no,” feel guilty, manage his disappointment, and still recover in peace. That’s unfair.
Real support sounds like:
“Hey, I know this time is going to be rough. I’ll cancel anything I need to, I’ve got you.”
Not:
“If you back out, can I still go without you?”
6. What Should He Be Doing Instead?
✅ Cooking meals
✅ Changing diapers
✅ Supporting breastfeeding
✅ Taking the toddler to the park
✅ Managing night feedings
✅ Handling housework
✅ Protecting your healing time
That’s how he earns a gold star—not by peacing out for a weekend with friends.
7. How to Talk About It (If You Even Want To)
If you’re not ready to blow it up but want to express yourself clearly, here’s a simple script:
“I need to know we’re a team. I’m facing surgery, pain, and the chaos of two kids. I need you here. The fact that you’re thinking about a trip right now makes me feel abandoned and unsupported. I’m not okay with that.”
It’s direct. It’s honest. And it lays your boundary down without yelling.
8. Bottom Line: You’re Not the AH
You’re recovering from major surgery. You’re raising two kids. You’re doing everything you can to hold it together.
If your husband can’t put his social plans on pause to show up during one of the most demanding moments of your life, that’s not on you. That’s a him problem.
You’re not crazy. You’re not overreacting. You’re just asking for what you deserve: support.
Many readers agreed it was foolish to even consider solo travel
