Lieutenant Said He Wanted Windows Washed By Any Means Necessary, So They Did It In The Worst Way Possible

Source: Reddit/AITA/Pixabay

This is a funny one, ladies and gents!

It’s a story from the “Malicious Compliance” page on Reddit and we think you’re gonna get a big kick out of it.

The person who wrote it said it was told to them by a friend in the Army…

“This story was told to me by Belle, a friend of mine who is a retired Army officer and takes place during the late 90’s to early 00’s when she was a 2nd Lieutenant. This story is more “unintentional Malicious Compliance” than anything else.

A fresh batch of 2nd LTs had arrived when this story starts. Among this group is a young man who had the misfortune of being nicknamed DumDum when he was a cadet (after the lollipop, because he liked to eat them).

DumDum wasn’t the smartest person on the planet.

The man was a skilled software engineer and became popular because he was friendly, helpful and personable.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t the shrillest whistle on the football field. Not a lot of common sense.

One time, he punched himself in the face when told to “beat his face” (aka do push ups).

When the others realized this, they made sure to make orders clear. Unfortunately, this story is about one of the times when someone forgot about that.

One day, word arrives that a General is coming to the base. Because of this, Colonel Stone (the same one who reamed out a Major’s wife for threatening Belle’s rank) was in a particularly foul mood. Wanting to avoid getting chewed out, Belle volunteers to run several errands. After finishing, she’s passing a building when she sees an odd sight.

There, standing on another 2nd LT’s shoulders was DumDum and he was holding a bucket and sponge.

Belle sees that DumDum is washing the windows while the other 2nd LT (let’s designate him Stepstool) was balancing him, holding onto his ankles.

According to Belle, it was like watching a car wreck. You know you should look away but you just can’t.

She hears Stone stop next to her, also with a befuddled look on his face.

Look out, DumDum!

It’s at this moment that Stepstool notices that they have an audience and stumbles. This causes DumDum to lose his balance and he falls to the ground, causing a bloody nose.

Belle and Stone get splashed by soapy water from the bucket. All three 2nd LT’s stand to attention.

“What are you two idiots doing?” Stone asked.

“We were ordered to wash the windows on the second floor for the General, Sir!” DumDum said.

“Why didn’t you get a ladder?” Stone asked.

“We weren’t ordered to use a ladder, Sir! We were just told to get it done!”

Stone was confused…

Stone stared for ten seconds, stern as his namesake, before walking around the building. It’s then, they hear him laughing hysterically. Everyone is staring at one another, not sure how to react. After a minute, Stone comes back, calm as can be.

“Who gave you the order to wash the windows?”

“1st LT Literal, Sir!”

“Go to medical and get that bloody nose checked out. Help them get a ladder, Smith, when they’re cleared. And don’t do that again, you two.”

“Yes, Sir!”

Technically, this guy got what he asked for…

After getting cleared by medical (DumDum was fine) Belle helps them get a ladder and returns to work.

By the end of the day, word had spread and Belle got the full story. It turned out that Literal, who was also in a foul mood, had snapped at DumDum and Stepstool to “go wash the windows on the second floor” when they asked him how they could help.

When asked how they could reach the second floor, Literal (who really wanted to get them out his hair) told them “I don’t care how! Just get it done! And don’t bother anyone until you two get it done!”

He later apologized to DumDum and Stepstool. Quietly, of course.

DumDum and Stepstool finished their chore and the General’s arrival went well. From that day forward, DumDum and Stepstool were known as “the Window Washers”.”

Let’s see how folks reacted on Reddit.

This person knows folks like this…

Source: Reddit/AITA

Another individual said this reminds them of an old TV show.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This individual said this wasn’t the fault of these guys.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Another reader got a big kick out of this story.

Source: Reddit/AITA

That was hilarious.

Did you enjoy it!

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.



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