Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar.
“Might I smoke a cigar?” Asks Johnny.
The grandpa replies “Nicely, does your weapon contact your bastard?”
Johnny replied “No.” and left the room.
The subsequent day Johnny sees his Grandpa getting right into a automotive.
“Can I drive the automotive?” Asks Johnny.
“Does your weapon contact your bastard?”
The day after that, Grandpa sees Johnny about to eat a cookie.
“Johnny, could I’ve a few of your cookie?” Requested the grandpa.
“Does your weapon contact your bastard, grandpa?”
“Then go bang your self, that is my cookie.”