My SIL is a bad foster parent and I got one of her kids removed from her custody.

From an outsider’s perspective, it appears that the situation involving Mae, the foster child, and her former foster parents, SIL and her husband, escalated due to conflicting approaches to fostering and communication breakdowns. SIL and her husband seemed to struggle with understanding Mae’s attachment to her biological mother and may have inadvertently created a hostile environment for her by discouraging her natural feelings. Despite attempts by the narrator, who has personal experience as a former foster child, to intervene and advocate for Mae’s emotional well-being, SIL dismissed their input and explicitly asked them to stay out of the matter.

However, as Mae continued to express her unhappiness and desperation, the narrator, with the support of their husband, reached out to Mae’s case worker to shed light on the situation. This ultimately resulted in Mae being removed from SIL and her husband’s care. SIL perceived the narrator’s actions as a betrayal, blaming them for destabilizing Mae’s life and disregarding her previous request to not interfere.

In the eyes of SIL and some members of the husband’s family, the narrator’s involvement was seen as overstepping boundaries, especially considering the familial dynamics and the sensitive nature of foster care. They believe that the narrator’s personal experiences may have clouded their judgment and led them to interfere where they shouldn’t have.

On the other hand, the narrator and their husband viewed their actions as necessary to protect Mae’s well-being and ensure that she was not subjected to further emotional distress in an unsupportive environment. They believe that SIL and her husband’s behavior was harmful to Mae and warranted intervention, despite SIL’s objections.

Ultimately, whether the narrator is deemed the “asshole” depends on the perspective taken. Some may argue that they acted out of genuine concern for Mae’s welfare, while others may see their actions as disruptive and disrespectful of SIL’s wishes.

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