Tough Love: Setting Boundaries with a Pregnant Daughter

A mother faces a challenging situation when her 19-year-old daughter becomes pregnant and plans to marry her unreliable boyfriend. Despite offering support for abortion or adoption, the mother insists that her daughter move out and take responsibility for her choices, leading to conflict and estrangement.

1. Unwelcome Boyfriend and Unexpected Pregnancy: The mother expresses dislike for her daughter’s unreliable boyfriend and becomes concerned when her daughter announces her pregnancy and intention to marry him.

2. Offer of Support and Resistance: Concerned about her daughter’s future, the mother offers financial and emotional support for abortion or adoption but is met with resistance as her daughter insists on keeping the baby and marrying her boyfriend.

3. Setting Boundaries: Realizing that her daughter’s decision will drastically change their living situation, the mother firmly insists that her daughter must move out and take responsibility for her choices as an adult.

4. Estrangement and Family Tension: The daughter reacts angrily to her mother’s decision, refusing to speak to her and causing tension within the family, especially with the stepfather who believes the mother should offer more help.

5. Upholding Personal Boundaries: Despite criticism from family members, the mother stands by her decision, asserting that she raised the one child she wanted and is not willing to take on additional parental responsibilities.

6. Seeking Validation and Closure: The mother turns to Reddit to ask if she’s the “asshole” for setting boundaries with her pregnant daughter and refusing to provide extensive support beyond occasional assistance.

Comments: Reddit users offer mixed opinions, with some applauding the mother for upholding her boundaries and teaching her daughter about accountability, while others criticize her for what they perceive as lack of empathy and support for her daughter during a difficult time. Many suggest seeking family counseling to navigate the strained relationships and find a resolution that works for everyone.