In this scenario, the issue revolves around a routine where the husband of the OP (37F) has been gently brushing her daughters’ and occasionally her own hair after bath time, using a tangle teaser to manage frizz and knots effectively. This has become a comforting ritual for the family, making hair care easier for those with frizzy Irish hair like the OP, her daughters, and now her sister, Jess.
Jess, after experiencing the hair care method, began regularly asking the husband to brush her hair as well, initially for special occasions and eventually on a more frequent basis, seemingly without explicit permission or arrangement. This has caused some discomfort for the OP, who feels her husband’s time and effort are being taken advantage of, and it has also led to awkward conversations among family members, particularly concerning the word “intimate” used by Jess to describe the hair brushing sessions.
The OP now wants to put a stop to this situation. She feels that her Saturday nights and family dynamics are being disrupted, and she’s tired of the jokes circulating within the family about the ‘intimate brushing’ sessions. She wants things to return to normal and for her husband’s hair brushing duties to remain within the family circle, rather than extending to her sister.
In considering whether the OP would be the asshole (WIBTA) for ending this arrangement, it’s important to recognize her perspective. She didn’t originally intend for her husband to become a hairdresser for her sister, and the situation has evolved beyond her comfort level. Given the personal nature of hair care and the boundaries it can involve, it’s understandable that the OP would want to reclaim her family’s private routine.
Communicating openly and honestly with her husband and sister about her feelings and boundaries would be crucial in resolving this issue respectfully. Establishing clear boundaries and possibly suggesting alternative solutions for her sister’s hair care needs, such as affordable hair care products or occasional professional treatments, could help in maintaining harmony within the family while respecting everyone’s comfort levels. Therefore, in this context, the OP wouldn’t be considered the asshole for wanting to stop her husband from brushing her sister’s hair, as long as it’s handled with sensitivity and clear communication.
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