In this situation, the individual (38M) is grappling with feelings of disappointment and perceived unfairness regarding a friend’s (also 38M) lack of a wedding gift after the individual and his wife generously gave the friend a $250 cash gift at his wedding. The friend had a wedding that included certain financial expectations and requests from groomsmen, such as covering expenses related to the bachelor party and renting specific tuxedos. Despite these contributions and attending the friend’s wedding, which had its own shortcomings in terms of food and drinks, the individual did not receive a wedding gift from the friend when he got married three weeks later.
Adding to the individual’s feelings is the fact that the friend and his wife are financially comfortable, and subsequently, the friend has engaged with the individual’s broader circle of friends, even profiting from activities like a NCAA tournament betting bracket organized within the group. Feeling weighed down by this perceived imbalance, the individual is contemplating addressing the issue with his friend, given enough time has passed since both weddings.
The individual acknowledges the societal norm against discussing gifts, but he feels compelled to express his feelings due to what he perceives as a notable breach of reciprocity and friendship norms. Seeking validation for his emotions and wanting to clarify his friend’s perspective, the individual seeks to understand if he would be considered the asshole (AITA) for raising this issue with his friend.
In summary, the individual is questioning whether it’s justified to confront his friend about the absence of a wedding gift, considering the financial and emotional investments made in the friend’s wedding compared to what he received in return.
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