“AITA for not giving financially towards my son’s wedding/honeymoon?”

In the situation presented, a mother is grappling with financial expectations surrounding her eldest son’s upcoming wedding. She expresses concern over the strain his financial demands place on the family, particularly given their lower middle class status and responsibilities towards their other children.

The mother explains that she and her husband have supported their son significantly throughout his life, including providing vehicles and ongoing financial assistance such as car and health insurance. However, she feels frustrated by what she perceives as a lack of responsibility from her son, who has not taken good care of the vehicles he was entrusted with and has not contributed as expected towards his own expenses.

The tipping point arises when the son asks if they are paying for his honeymoon, which shocks the mother given their financial constraints. Her husband steps in and negotiates that they will give their son a company vehicle in lieu of further financial support and remove him from their car insurance. Despite this compromise, the son’s expectation that his parents continue to cover additional wedding expenses like the tuxedo rental further exacerbates the mother’s sense of frustration and financial strain.

In response, the mother has contributed to aspects of the wedding such as planning and paying for certain expenses, but emphasizes that there are limits to what they can afford, especially with three other children to support. She questions whether she is in the wrong for not wanting to provide further financial assistance towards her son’s wedding and honeymoon, feeling that he should take more responsibility as an adult.

Ultimately, the mother seeks validation for her stance, feeling torn between her desire to support her son and her responsibilities towards her entire family’s financial stability. The situation highlights a clash of expectations and financial realities within the family, leaving the mother grappling with whether her decisions make her “the asshole” in this scenario.

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