'AITA for refusing to apologize for what I said at Xmas and ruining NYE?'

In this scenario, the individual is grappling with whether they were in the wrong for their actions during a Christmas gathering that spilled over into affecting New Year’s Eve plans. The trouble began when the cousin’s fiancé attempted a party trick of guessing weights, which quickly became uncomfortable and offensive when he repeatedly underestimated the individual’s weight and called her a liar. Tensions escalated when the cousin, Bianca, made condescending remarks about the individual’s appearance and lifestyle choices, triggering a response where the individual pointed out Bianca’s recent loss of custody of her children due to her own choices.

This statement, although reflecting a factual situation, was seen as crossing a line by Bianca’s family, leading to demands that the individual leave the gathering. However, the individual’s husband and mother-in-law supported them staying, causing significant awkwardness and a split within the family. As a result, some family members threatened not to attend the subsequent New Year’s Eve party if the individual remained.

The individual is conflicted about whether to apologize. They feel justified in their response to Bianca’s provocations but are aware that their remarks about Bianca’s personal situation may have been hurtful and seen as inappropriate in the context of a family gathering. Their husband supports their stance of not apologizing, while other family members, such as their sister-in-law, believe an apology is warranted to mend fences.

In assessing the situation, the individual’s reaction can be seen as a defense against personal attacks and insensitivity from Bianca, compounded by the uncomfortable and inappropriate nature of the weight-guessing game. However, the mention of Bianca’s custody issues, while factual, may have been emotionally charged and insensitive to her situation, thereby contributing to the family rift.

Ultimately, whether the individual is considered the asshole (AITA) hinges on whether their response was proportionate to the provocations they faced, considering both the immediate circumstances and the family dynamics involved. The resolution of this conflict will likely depend on their ability to navigate these sensitivities and rebuild rapport with the family members affected.

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