In this situation, the mother, represented by the original poster, is being accused by her mother-in-law (MIL) and sister-in-law (SIL) of trying to ruin a wedding over a disagreement about her daughters’ hair. The MIL is funding the wedding and has demanded that the OP’s three daughters, who are bridesmaids, get their long hair cut to shoulder length. The OP and her husband have refused, as their daughters prefer having long hair and do not wish to cut it.
The conflict escalated when the MIL sent a message to the eldest daughter, pressuring her to agree to the haircut or risk being removed from the wedding party. This aggressive message prompted the OP and her husband to decide not to attend the wedding at all, opting instead to protect their daughters from further distress. The SIL has taken to social media to portray the OP and her husband as unreasonable for not agreeing to what she considers a minor request.
From a neutral perspective, the OP is not the asshole (NTA) in this situation. As parents, they have the right to make decisions about their children’s appearance, especially when it comes to something as personal as hair length. The MIL’s behavior of trying to manipulate and coerce the children, as well as escalating the situation with aggressive messages, is inappropriate and disrespectful. The OP and her husband have consistently stood up for their daughters’ wishes and well-being, choosing to prioritize their children’s comfort over attending a family event marred by such conflict.
The decision to go low-contact with the MIL and SIL appears to be a reasonable step to protect the children from further emotional manipulation and stress. While the SIL may feel disappointed by their decision not to attend, the underlying issue is the MIL’s overbearing behavior and lack of respect for the parents’ authority over their children. Therefore, the OP’s stance on refusing to cut their daughters’ hair is justified, given the circumstances and the importance of respecting their daughters’ preferences and autonomy.
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