Girlfriend Wanted an Open Relationship, I Broke Up with Her – Now She Wants to Come Back
Sometimes, a major shift in relationship dynamics can be a dealbreaker. When this guy’s girlfriend (who he had been with for four years) asked for an open relationship, he made a snap decision to break up with her, citing that it went against the monogamous values he had when they first started dating. Now, after some emotional texts and voice messages from her begging to come back, he’s left wondering if his decision was too rash. He’s seeking opinions on whether he acted too quickly or if breaking up was the right call given the circumstances.
The situation took an unexpected turn when, after breaking up, he found out his ex had been cheating on him with a mutual friend’s cousin during the time she suggested the open relationship. This revelation added a whole new layer to the emotional complexity of the breakup and raised even more questions about trust and loyalty.
A man said his girlfriend of four years suddenly wanted an open relationship
The request came out of the blue and the man didn’t like her suggestion
This situation brings to light just how important it is to understand the boundaries and values that underpin a relationship. For this guy, monogamy wasn’t just a preference—it was a core belief he had about relationships, and it was something he’d been comfortable with for years. When his girlfriend of four years suggested an open relationship, it struck him as a complete betrayal of the trust they had built. He didn’t believe in shifting the dynamic of a relationship that had started with certain expectations. For him, asking for an open relationship felt like the foundation of their bond was being questioned and potentially shattered. While his girlfriend might have thought she could bring it up after years of being together, he saw it as a fundamental difference in values, something that couldn’t be overlooked.
Immediately breaking up with her wasn’t an easy decision, but he felt that he needed to act on his gut feeling. He didn’t want to stay in a relationship that didn’t align with his core beliefs, and the way she had been acting in the weeks leading up to this conversation—distant and disengaged—made him feel that things weren’t as solid as they seemed. For him, this wasn’t just about the open relationship request, it was about the emotional distance that had already started to creep in. The breakdown in their communication and emotional connection was already there before the request for an open relationship came up. He felt blindsided, and after four years together, it was a wake-up call to the fact that things weren’t right anymore.
At first, when he received her messages and voicemails begging for another chance, he might have felt conflicted. It’s natural to want to take someone back when they express regret, especially after a relationship that lasted for years. The emotional plea to rekindle their bond would tug at anyone’s heartstrings. But for him, the idea of going back to her didn’t seem feasible. The simple truth was that he couldn’t trust her after her suggestion for an open relationship, and even if he tried to, there was a lingering feeling that things were already broken beyond repair. The trust had been cracked, and no amount of apologies or tears could undo the changes that had already occurred in his perception of their relationship.
Then, as if the situation couldn’t get more complicated, he started to have suspicions about her actions during the month she had been acting distant. He had a nagging feeling that something wasn’t quite right, and after talking to mutual friends, he eventually learned the truth: his ex had been cheating on him. His suspicions were confirmed when he spoke to one of her closest friends, who spilled the beans about her affair with a mutual friend’s cousin. This was the moment that changed everything for him. The open relationship request wasn’t just a random suggestion—it was a smokescreen for what was already happening. She had been stepping outside the relationship while asking for the “freedom” to explore others. This realization felt like a punch to the gut because it validated his suspicions about her behavior, and it made the breakup seem even more justified.
He then decided to take matters into his own hands and messaged the guy involved, arranging to meet up to get some clarity. When they met in person, the guy seemed genuinely remorseful and explained how he had no idea she was in a committed relationship until she had reached out to him about wanting to get back with her boyfriend. It was interesting that this guy wasn’t trying to cover up his actions; he seemed sincerely sorry for what had happened, and even more surprisingly, he respected the fact that he was now cut out of the equation. In a strange way, he even seemed like a decent person—he apologized for his part in the affair and broke things off with Jessica the moment he learned about her relationship. This interaction gave the guy a sense of closure he didn’t even know he needed. It wasn’t just about his ex anymore; it was about understanding that she wasn’t the only one at fault in this situation.
After the conversation with the guy, he felt more empowered and resolute in his decision to move forward. He understood that his ex had been dishonest, not just in her actions, but in her intentions. The request for an open relationship, in hindsight, seemed like a convenient justification for something she had already been doing behind his back. In a way, it helped him see that he had made the right decision by ending things when he did. But, despite the closure he had now, it didn’t make the situation any easier. The emotional weight of betrayal was still there, even though he could now walk away knowing that he hadn’t been wrong to break up with her.
He also found himself struggling with the temptation to send a note back with her things, something sharp and cutting to remind her of what she had lost. A part of him wanted to lash out, to rub her face in the fact that she had not only lost him but also someone else she had been involved with. But he resisted, knowing that such actions wouldn’t bring him peace. He was learning that the best form of revenge was to simply move on and let her go. Blocking her on everything was his way of taking control and refusing to be a part of her mess anymore. It wasn’t about punishing her—it was about protecting himself.
Many people supported the man’s decision to break up with his girlfriend
In the end, the situation had come full circle. His ex wanted him back, but the reality of their relationship, tainted by deceit and the lack of respect, was no longer something he could go back to. The emotional scars might take time to heal, but with the closure he had now, he felt more certain in his decision to keep moving forward. He wasn’t looking back anymore. He was putting his energy into the future, and that was where his focus would stay.