MIL throwing us out of Christmas to make room for BIL’s in-laws
Hosting extended family during the holidays can be stressful, especially when navigating differing family traditions and expectations. It’s possible MIL felt overwhelmed by the prospect of managing a larger group and made a snap decision to uninvite OP, viewing it as the path of least resistance. While this doesn’t excuse her actions, it may explain her prioritization of SIL1’s guests, particularly if SIL1’s family exerts greater influence or lives closer.
Image credits: Daniel Martinez (not the actual photo)
While the situation is more about etiquette than legality, there are ethical questions regarding MIL’s treatment of OP and DH. Family relationships thrive on trust, reciprocity, and fairness. Failing to honor commitments—especially after significant effort was made—erodes the foundation of mutual respect. Psychologists suggest that rebuilding this trust would require MIL to take accountability, apologize sincerely, and make amends for the disruption caused (Gottman, 2015).
- Emotional Closure
OP and DH may benefit from expressing their feelings directly to MIL, framing their disappointment without escalating conflict. Statements like, “We felt deeply hurt by being uninvited after making significant plans,” can open the door for constructive dialogue. - Future Holiday Plans
To avoid similar conflicts, OP and DH might consider creating new holiday traditions independent of extended family. This approach not only safeguards against future disappointment but also fosters a sense of agency and stability. - Therapeutic Support
If the relationship with MIL continues to be fraught, family counseling could provide a neutral space to address recurring issues. Alternatively, individual therapy might help OP and DH process their frustrations and build strategies for navigating challenging family dynamics.
Reddit Comments:
Gozo-the-bozo said:
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In summary, MIL’s behavior—while perhaps not intentionally malicious—reflects a disregard for OP and DH’s efforts and feelings. Addressing these issues directly and setting clear boundaries for future interactions will be critical in managing this relationship moving forward.
