AITAH for Skipping Thanksgiving at My MIL’s House Because Her Cooking Scares Me (and I’m Pregnant)?

This soon-to-be mom is facing a dilemma most of us would find awkward at best and stomach-churning at worst. Deep in her first trimester, she’s dealing with intense nausea and food aversions—pretty common for early pregnancy—but she’s also been invited to a Thanksgiving meal that’s anything but ordinary.

The issue? Her mother-in-law has a reputation. Not just for bad cooking, but for food experiments—the kind that would make even fearless foodies squirm. We’re talking old leftovers blended into new dishes, expired ingredients, things being left out overnight and reheated, and a culinary “style” that’s more chaotic than creative. At a recent gathering, even the shrimp served was spoiled. Yikes.

Now, she’s being asked to travel over two hours into the country to stay for several days, surrounded by food that might make her sick—literally. Her only idea is to bring her own food, but she worries that might be offensive. So she’s wondering: Is she the AH for not wanting to go at all?

Every pregnancy is unique, with its own challenges and experiences

A woman shared her struggles with food sensitivities during pregnancy and her fear of eating her mother-in-law’s questionable food

Let’s be real—navigating family during the holidays is tricky enough without pregnancy hormones and questionable casseroles involved. But this isn’t just about a weird dish or a missed flavor preference. This is about safety, boundaries, and self-care, especially during a really vulnerable time.

🤢 Why Pregnancy Makes Food a Minefield

First off, if you’ve never been pregnant (or around someone who is), it’s hard to understand just how sensitive your body becomes. First trimester nausea—often called morning sickness—can actually hit at any time of day and ranges from mild queasiness to constant vomiting. Some people need meds just to keep water down.

Food that might normally be fine becomes unbearable. Smells, textures, and ingredients all trigger major reactions. So the idea of sitting at a table with unpredictable, questionably-prepared food? That’s a recipe for disaster.

Even worse, food safety isn’t just a preference during pregnancy—it’s a health issue. Pregnant women are more susceptible to foodborne illnesses like Listeria, Salmonella, and Toxoplasmosis, which can be found in undercooked meat, old leftovers, or unwashed produce. According to the CDC, these infections can lead to miscarriage, stillbirth, or severe illness in newborns.

So yeah—when your MIL is reusing old canned food, leaving soup out all night, or serving spoiled seafood, it’s not just “weird.” It’s a full-blown health hazard.

🍗 What Thanksgiving Should Be (and Why This Ain’t It)

Thanksgiving is supposed to be a celebration, right? Food, family, and gratitude. But if you’re dreading the food and feeling physically ill at the thought of it, something’s off.

This story highlights how toxic family expectations often clash with real health needs. Saying “just eat what you’re given” doesn’t work when the food could literally make you sick. Especially when you’re pregnant and already struggling to keep things down.

Add in the stress of staying several days in a rural area with no easy access to takeout or grocery options, and it’s no longer just “one bad meal.” It becomes a multi-day endurance test for a woman already stretched thin physically and emotionally.

🙅‍♀️ Is Bringing Your Own Food Rude?

This might feel like the only compromise, but let’s unpack it.

Bringing your own dish—especially if it’s the only thing you’re going to eat—can definitely raise eyebrows, depending on the family dynamic. But guess what? Self-preservation > social politeness.

You’re not bringing your own dish to show off. You’re doing it because you’re pregnant, food-sensitive, and trying to avoid throwing up in someone’s guest bathroom—or worse, getting actual food poisoning. That’s not rude. That’s practical.

You could even frame it gently:

“Hey, my stomach’s been super sensitive lately, and I’m on anti-nausea meds. I don’t want to be a burden, so I’m bringing a dish that I know I can safely eat.”

That makes it about you, not their cooking. But let’s be real—if your MIL’s feelings are going to be hurt by you wanting to not vomit, then her feelings aren’t your problem.

🚘 Should You Even Go?

Honestly? No. And you’re not the AH for feeling that way.

Your health—mental and physical—comes first. It’s okay to say:

“I’m not feeling well enough for the trip this year. It’s been a rough pregnancy so far, and I need to stay close to home where I can rest and manage my symptoms.”

That’s truthful, respectful, and firm. You don’t have to lie or over-explain. You’re growing a human—you’ve earned the right to sit out a sketchy holiday meal in the middle of nowhere.

If your partner doesn’t understand that? That’s a separate conversation. You might need their support more than ever right now.

🛑 The Bigger Issue: When Family Doesn’t Respect Boundaries

Let’s zoom out for a second.

This isn’t just about bad cooking. It’s about lack of food safety, poor hygiene, and unwillingness to adapt. And that’s something to talk about now—before the baby arrives.

Because guess what? If MIL is feeding you spoiled shrimp and unsealed canned food now, she’s probably not going to be on point when it comes to baby bottles, sterilization, or safe infant snacks. If she dismisses expiration dates, she might dismiss safe sleep rules or other parenting boundaries too.

This pregnancy is a golden opportunity to set the tone early. What you allow now becomes the norm later. Saying “no” to Thanksgiving could be the first step in showing that your health and your baby’s safety matter more than family traditions.

The author further discussed her health concerns and how her husband responded to the situation

Nope, you’re not the AH. You’re a pregnant woman with serious nausea trying to protect your health. Your MIL’s cooking habits aren’t just quirky—they’re dangerous. And choosing to sit this one out? That’s called being responsible.

So skip the sketchy stuffing. Stay home. Make yourself some mashed potatoes and chill. You deserve a Thanksgiving where the biggest surprise is the baby on the way—not what’s in the pie.