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AITA for asking my fiancée to sleep on the pull out couch so my daughter could sleep in my bed?

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In a sensitive situation involving a hotel stay, a father (43m), his fiancée (39f), and his 16-year-old daughter, who is on the autism spectrum, faced a dilemma over sleeping arrangements. During their visit to meet the fiancée’s parents, the daughter expressed anxiety about sleeping alone in an unfamiliar place and requested to sleep in her father’s bed. Initially offering to sleep on the pull-out couch with her, the father then asked his fiancée if she could take the couch instead. Reluctantly, the fiancée agreed, though she seemed annoyed at the situation.

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The next day, upon returning home, the fiancée expressed feeling sidelined and disrespected by the arrangement. She conveyed her dissatisfaction with how the night had unfolded, feeling that her needs and comfort were disregarded. The father explained that he prioritized his daughter’s emotional well-being due to her autism and anxiety, suggesting that these situations might arise occasionally in their relationship. This response further frustrated the fiancée, who felt her concerns were being minimized.

Reflecting on the incident, opinions varied on whether the father’s decision was appropriate or whether more consideration could have been given to the fiancée’s comfort. The fiancée’s feeling of being undervalued and the father’s stance on prioritizing his daughter’s needs added complexity to the issue. The lack of clear communication or preemptive planning for such scenarios also contributed to the tension between the father and his fiancée.

In conclusion, while the father acted with his daughter’s best interests in mind, the fiancée’s feelings of being disrespected and overlooked are valid concerns that warrant open discussion and perhaps a more thoughtful approach to balancing familial needs in future situations. Clear communication and mutual respect for each other’s feelings would be crucial in resolving such conflicts and fostering a harmonious relationship.

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Here’s what people had to say:

Oddish197 writes:

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wagonloadofbs OP responded:

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Vinity2 writes:

Kiki3838 writes:

Update from OP: