AITA for not wanting to be my best friends “secret maid of honor”?

Friend Asked Her To Be Her Maid Of Honor And Do All The Work, But Now She Wants To Give It To Somebody Else And Make Her Role “Secret”

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In a heartfelt story of friendship and unexpected responsibilities, a woman finds herself in a challenging situation as she grapples with the title of “secret maid of honor” for her best friend, Morgan. For years, the two have shared a close bond, especially during Morgan’s long-term relationship with her fiancé, Jack. When Morgan became engaged, she explicitly asked her friend to be her maid of honor, expressing how important her involvement was to the wedding planning process. The friend took on numerous tasks, from organizing bridesmaid proposals to planning the bachelorette party and even budgeting for the wedding.

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However, the dynamic shifted when Morgan revealed that she intended to have her sister, Lindsey, as the official maid of honor instead. While the friend had been deeply invested in the wedding preparations, Morgan’s statement that she would be a “secret maid of honor” was met with disappointment and frustration. This role implied that she would continue to manage all the responsibilities traditionally associated with the maid of honor without receiving the acknowledgment she deserved, while Lindsey, labeled as “irresponsible,” would not be expected to contribute much at all.

Free Bride and Bridesmaids on a Ceremony Stock Photo
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Image credits: arinda gracious (not the actual photo)

This situation raises important questions about friendship, expectations, and boundaries. The friend, feeling undervalued and overwhelmed by the prospect of being a “secret” support system, is now reconsidering her involvement. She finds herself questioning whether she should continue to shoulder the burden of responsibilities that were originally promised to her, now under the guise of a title that doesn’t reflect her contributions. Ultimately, her struggle highlights the complexities of maintaining friendships while navigating significant life events, such as weddings, where emotions and expectations can often collide.

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Reddit Comments:

Floater439 Said:

teresajs Said:

ColdstreamCapple Said:

ALL IN ALL!

The author, a close friend of Morgan, is upset about being her maid of honor for her upcoming wedding. Morgan has been asking her friend to be her maid of honor, and Jack has heavily involved her in the planning process. The author has been involved in planning everything for Morgan, including bridesmaid proposals, bachelorette parties, ceremonies, catering, venues, receptions, after parties, and honeymoons. However, Morgan wants Lindsey, Morgan’s sister, to be her official maid of honor. The author is upset because they are expected to do everything, while Lindsey is expected to do nothing. They want to relinquish the unnecessary stress and responsibility.

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